mimpi

Lebaran, Mendadak Sirion- Deja Lover

2011-07-27T09:25:00.000+07:00

Aging Solution

2010-05-24T15:41:00.000+07:00

Anti-aging medicine is a medical specialty founded on the application of advanced scientific and medical technologies for the early detection, prevention, treatment, and reversal of age-related dysfunction, disorders, and diseases.

It is a healthcare model promoting innovative science and research to prolong the healthy human lifespan. As such, anti aging medicine is based on principles of sound and responsible medical care that are consistent with those applied in other preventive health specialties.

OXIS International, Inc. is engaged in those research, development and sale of products that counteract the harmful effects of “oxidative stress.”

They focus on naturally occurring protective substances since they are more likely to be both safe and efficacious. Their primary products incorporate and emphasize the multifaceted “super antioxidant” compound, L-Ergothioneine (“ERGO”), as a key component. They own several patents and pending applications related to ERGO that cover current and planned products relevant to their nutraceutical and cosmecuetical businesses. Their patents and patent applications address ERGO’s protective effects and activities and the ERGO manufacturing process. Do visit Oxis on facebook to learn more.

IMPLIKASI ASSESSMENT DAN DIAGNOSIS PADA ANAK PENDERITA GANGGUAN PENDENGARAN TERHADAP TREATMENT DAN PENDIDIKANNYA - Melly Latifah

2010-04-16T09:25:00.000+07:00

IMPLIKASI ASSESSMENT DAN DIAGNOSIS PADA ANAK PENDERITA GANGGUAN PENDENGARAN TERHADAP TREATMENT DAN PENDIDIKANNYA - Melly Latifah

Alternative Energy

2010-03-27T14:21:00.001+07:00

One of the best ways to use energy in an efficient way is by making use of cogeneration of electricity and heat (also known as combined heat and power or CHP), thus limiting waste heat. It also applies to waste incineration. The heat developed in the incineration process can be used for district heating but also for industrial purposes, pre-treatment of fuel and for biogas production. In order to calculate if the cogeneration process is highly efficient, harmonized reference values have to be used. The list includes reference values for electricity and heat from solid biodegradable (municipal) waste, liquid biodegradable waste and biogas, in order to promote the use of high efficiency cogeneration with such fuels.

The use of biomass, i.e. the biodegradable fraction of products, wastes and residues from agriculture (including vegetal and animal substances), forestry and related industries, as well as the biodegradable fraction of industrial and municipal waste, is count towards the renewable energy targets.

In general estimation, around half of the overall 20% renewable energy target will be met from bio-energy. It needs a set of sustainability criteria for the use of bio-fuels and bio-liquids, while encouraging the use of bio-wastes, e.g. cooking oil or bio-methane, for developing so-called second-generation bio-fuels. Also foresees on a need for sustainability criteria for all other uses of biomass for alternative energy purposes.

N-Viro International Corporation develops and licenses its technology to municipalities and private companies. Their patented processes use lime and/or mineral-rich, combustion by products to treat, pasteurize, immobilize and convert waste water sludge and other bio-organic wastes into bio-mineral agricultural and soil-enrichment products with real market value. The company has generated sales in excess of $40 million dollars, since its initial public offering in October of 1993, which was underwritten by Robertson Stephens, Raymond James, Oppenheimer & Co., and Paine Webber. Do visit the official website at http://www.nviro.com.

Gender-Bender Dream

2009-11-17T11:53:00.001+07:00

Alright, so recently, Ariisu had this dream which was a bit odd to say the least. It started off kind of normal, She was going to school at LSU (though she currently attend Auburn) and while she was there she meet up with her ex-boyfriend (even though he's currently at UNCC), but the weird thing was, he was a girl. And not only that, but a girl that looked nothing like him (nor that attractive in her opinion) but for some reason in her dream, she immediately knew it was him and she behaved as if he had always been a girl.

Then later in the dream as they're mucking about the swamps (because in her dream LSU's campus is a labyrinth of swamps), he/she says that they should start dating again and she was like "Yeah sure!" and so the dream continues on and they behave like a basically normal couple (well...as normal as being in a LSU swamp campus).

The dream ends with alligator monsters but that's not really what she is curious about. She is more interested in the meaning behind the rest of the stuff involving her ex-boyfriend/girlfriend(?). Another weird point of the dream is that her current boyfriend came from Louisiana and is a fan of LSU.

Home Sick

2009-10-06T00:00:00.001+07:00

Every single night Kim dream that her teeth are falling out.
Every. Single. Night.
And of all the dreams in the world, these are the most real.
She usually lose about 2 or 3 teeth. It either happens that she start to notice the tooth is loose, and she prod at it with her tongue obsessively until she decide to rip it out like she would when she was a child... or the tooth crumbles and she is able to remove it in pieces.

Every. Single. Night.
Tonight will be no different. Tonight she will lose more teeth and believe it is real, and wake up confused as to why her teeth all remain. Every time she wake up with such a feeling of hopelessness... but relief that those events haven't transpired.
Every. Single. Night.
So... what does this mean? How can she keep having the same dream over and over. It must mean SOMETHING. And why teeth?

The internet has this to offer:
"If feelings of loss of control, helplessness or powerlessness accompany your tooth loss dream, the dream is typically acting as a mirror of a situation in waking life. Dreams of tooth loss coupled with anxiety reflect a fear of change, fear of transition. Ask yourself if there is some transition that you are fearful of making.

Sometimes tooth loss dreams point to a fear of failure or embarrassment. In waking life, when people lose teeth, they often cover their mouths when talking or smiling. Is there something you want to do but are afraid of undertaking because you fear you'll look foolish if you fail? Or is there something going on in your waking life that you feel you must hide or 'cover up'?

Losing teeth in dreams can also point to insecurity about finances. In physical waking life, teeth are what we use to take in sustenance, to keep our bodies fit and nourished, and they are often lost when malnutrition is present. In order to take in nourishment we must be able to 'support' ourselves. Are you worried that you will lose the ability to take care of yourself or are you already not taking care of your needs? Nourishing ourselves comes in many forms, not just our bodily needs--we must nourish our minds, spirits, and hearts as well as our bodies. Is there any aspect of your life that feels like an empty hole?"

Doesn't that hit the nail on the fucking head?
Those 3 things are the most key points to her life right now. And it's not just one or two websites that say this... but ALL of them say things along this line... and about how "teeth falling out in dreams is the single most commonly requested dream interpretation".
So this can't be bullshit.

She have been having these dreams for weeks, and she have had them before a couple years ago when she first started college.
They're disturbing, relentless, and clearly mean something.

The second most recurring dream she have is slightly more disturbing for her, in her opinion.
Every time her family moves to a new house.
The house is different each time. Sometimes it's even into their old house in Spruce, but it's much nicer. The house is always huge and really nice.
Every time, soon after they move... someone returns their poodle Kirby to them after him being missing for 2 years.
Every time they are so happy to have him back... and can't believe he's alive and he still remembers them... and life settles back in as normal with Kirby back in their lives.
And it feels so right. And it feels so real.
And every time before the dream ends, Kirby leaves again in some fashion. Either he dies or runs away or something...
But the dream never ends with Kirby.

How fucking depressing is that? That's the single most depressing thing she can think of. Every other night she dream her dead dog comes back to her. She have had this dream almost every other night since she have been in Japan. Every other night her beloved Kirby comes back to her and every other night she lose him again.
She lose him over and over and over and over.
She don't really need anyone to interpret this for her. She know full well what it means.

The moving to a new house represents their move to the country, where they live now. Kirby never got used to living there. In many ways she think it drove him insane.
Kirby being returned to them in her dreams means "coming home" in a sense. Kirby will always be a part of her. He will always be home. A part of their family, even though he's gone.
Losing Kirby at the end of the dream represents the change in her life and her family's life between the old house and the new one. Everything changed when they moved there. EVERYTHING. So many bad things happened since they moved there... but these days, so many good things have happened. She became an adult there. Her family grew apart and grew back together there.

Kirby came there and so soon after... died there.
Kirby's gone. He's not coming back. She know that full well. But it was the way that Kirby left her. The ambiguous way. The stupid way that keeps that small stupid and naive hope in her heart that he's still out there. That maybe he got away and someone found him and cared for him and loved him and that he's still alive and there's still a chance that he'll come home.
She know that isn't true. But the child in her still persists with this open ended and hopeful feeling.
And her dreams are endlessly haunted because of this.
Kirby died just as absolutely everything in her life was changing. A new home. A new major in school. New friends. New job. New everything.
She think she cling to him because it's a form of clinging to the past.
It's amazing how such things can affect without knowing. How much a little, gray toy poodle she had for 5 years affected her.... and haunts her.
On a similar topic, they all well know that she want a bird fairly soon. She have wanted a bird her entire life. A big bird as a companion.

The real reason she want a bird for a pet?
She cannot handle losing her pets. She cannot handle her pets dying. The thought of losing Spooky or Miss Lena... both of whom she think will be the next pets to go.... it kills her. She cant imagine life without Lena. She is her one, true soul mate. She have known this for years. If she could grant one person immortality it would be her. She can't live without her. And she spend everyday apologizing to her in her mind for leaving her.
What a horrible thing she have done.
But anyway, she want a parrot, like a cockatoo or Amazon so that she have a life partner in her pet. Someone who will stay with her forever... and die with her.
She will always have dogs she is sure... but her bird will always be with her.
She want to find that life partner within the next 2 years. She want to buy him as a baby and have him with her forever.
She honestly hope whoever she marry can accept a bird because the bird thing is non-negotiable. She would have to say that is the single non-negotiable thing for her when she get married.
She don’t think it's too much to ask!

Anyway, it's clear that she is just letting her emotions get away with her again. It's clear when she write things like this that she have had too much time to sit and think.
Which is all the fucking time.
She is sick, she is tired, she is miserable. She wish she could go home in a week or two.
She have so much to take care of before she leave. She have so much anxiety about quitting her job... She is tempted to make up some bullshit sob story in order to avoid feeling guilty for leaving.
It's a part time job though she think they'll be okay. But the problem is that Tony absolutely adores her... She can tell he loves her. She know he's going to be upset. Same with her students. A few people are really going to be upset.

But she can't think about them. She have to do this. She have to do this for her. She have to leave Japan. She really do.
She might get that ski job... She want it dearly... but she don’t think she can accept it anymore.
Her heart is really yearning for home. For arms around her. For the loving embrace of people who love her.
Her heart is yearning for some of this stress and fear to go away. She live in constant fear here... and this is too hard to keep up.
She have never been more miserable in her life.
Her face is all sunken from not eating properly, because she can't afford to eat properly.
She is sick and she just want her Mom to bring her a cup of tea.
She want to be able to call Branden without having to plan a certain time for over a month to do so.
She want to be able to fucking see him.
Oh God she is in despair.

The Myth about Dream

2009-10-03T03:16:00.001+07:00

As fun surfing in cyberspace, late afternoon a few days ago, I was startled by the question of my second son who was about to graduate high school. He asked about what is the the dream ?.

A good question. He did not ask about the interpretation of dreams, but starting from the dream scene itself.

Frankly I was surprised to hear the question. Most of all because I happen to build my own theory about dream.

The theory is still raw, I can not conclude it yet. How do I answer that interesting question?. Finally, I just explain my theory that the dream is a picture of this life.

Let us look, can we plan a dream? I do not know about you but I could never dream of in accordance with previous plans. My dreams just happens. I can not manage what my dreams tonight. This is not a movie screen where you can choose what movie to watch. But it is more like watching TV, thanks so, what is shown, that is seen. Sometimes the atmosphere is fun, other times seemed dark. Just very similar with our life, is not it?.

I often ask, is there a special message in it? There are some myths about dreams. In biblical dreams Joseph interpreted the pharaoh who could save the nation of Israel. All sorts of dreams, ranging from riding a bike, eat meatballs until drowned in the river, all have numbers. This number is then registered to the committee "illegal gambling". If lucky, you figure out as a winner and get the cash. Well ... I do not intend to be the one also dreamed of winning the lottery billions of dollars. I also do not intend to commercialize the meaning of dreams like others do.

Furthermore, what does the myth meant? The impossibility of establishing a satisfactory definition of "myth" has not deterred scholars from developing theories on the meaning and interpretation of myth, which usually provide bases for a hypothesis about origins. Useful surveys of the principal theories are easily available, so that we shall attempt to touch upon only a few theories that are likely to prove especially fruitful to the student or are persistent enough to demand his attention. One thing is certain: no single theory of myth can cover all myths. The variety of traditional tales is matched by the variety of their origins and significance, so that any monolithic theory cannot succeed in achieving universal applicability.

Naked in The Office

2009-08-03T12:48:00.000+07:00

Fldbyher was heading to his office and when he sat down to work he realized he was not wearing any pants or underwear. Naked in his office! He was out of his mind with anxiety, it was so upsetting as he closed the door and tried to think of a way to get out to his car! His admin, ( she is about 60) came in to drop off some work and she stood over his desk as he stayed in his chair hoping she would not notice his nakedness from the waist down.

He had a shirt but that was all. She came in again and asked if something was wrong. He said no and hoped she would leave but she closed the door and turned to him and smiled a devilish smile that made him fill with worry AND god ..He was getting an erection. It was humiliating, she said she had a pair of slacks in her office and he was going to have to wear them.

He can't understand this but he have had similar dreams since!

cag ah

Running Down a Dirt Road

2009-07-26T16:08:00.001+07:00

Joyce Maynard felt as hard as it was sometimes caring for her children when they were little, back in those days she at least stood a reasonable chance of protecting her sons and daughter from pain and loss. The hard part hits later, when — fiercely as you love this person and desperately as you may worry — you can’t come to your child’s rescue. Worse, what you imagined you were doing to protect her may actually end up inflicting another form of injury, as her actions easily could have, in what happened between her daughter and she in the story she tell here.

It was the fall of 2001, and the world felt like a particularly dangerous place. Her children were grown and out on their own — one son at college, the other bumming around West Africa. Her daughter, Audrey, 22, had left to spend six months volunteering with a women’s organization in a poor town in the Dominican Republic.

Not long after Audrey started living in Barahona she e-mailed that she had met a young man, Johnny, who ran a kind of taxi service, offering rides on the back of his motorcycle. He had given her a lift.

She didn’t tell me much, but she knew Johnny had come to the Dominican Republic from Haiti in search of a better life. Audrey said he was handsome, smart, funny, a great dancer and wonderful to her. Within a month she wrote to say she was in love.

Then nothing. Unable to reach Audrey at her rented room, she sent breezy news reports, casual questions. “How’s Johnny?” Then, “I’m worried.”

Finally, she tracked her down by calling the neighbors’ house. Even on that line filled with static she could tell something was wrong. Her voice, usually so lively, sounded wary and defensive: “I just can’t talk now. There’s a lot going on.”

Weeks passed. More silence. Or — almost worse — flat-sounding, one-line e-mail messages: “Will write later. Don’t worry.”

But she worried all the time now, more even than when she got the message from her son in Africa: “I’m over the worst of the malaria now.” He was writing to her, at least. From Audrey, nothing.

In early spring — six months since she had seen her last — she dreamed her daughter was running down a dirt road, with her long braid flying behind her and her face a mask of grief. The dream felt real.

That morning she knew what she would do, though she feared her daughter might never forgive her.

For years she had known the password to her e-mail account but never used it. Now — hands trembling on the keyboard — she typed it in.

Slowly, then, in messages she had written to friends, the story unfolded.

Audrey and Johnny had gone for their H.I.V. test that December. Two weeks later: A clean bill of health for Audrey. But the man her daughter believed to be the love of her life was H.I.V. positive. Back then, for an undocumented Haitian living in the Dominican Republic, the medical services necessary to keep him alive would be available only at a cost beyond his means.

It got worse. They had mostly been careful, but not 100 percent. And the test results Audrey got could not be viewed as accurate until three months had passed.

Feeling as though the room was on fire, Joyce scrolled through the messages her daughter had written over the weeks since then (with her own hopeful, plaintive notes scattered throughout: “Tell me what’s going on! I miss you, honey!”). There were letters to the American embassy inquiring about Johnny emigrating to the United States if he were married to an American citizen. Letters inquiring about the options for treatment for both of them back home. If she came home.

But for the moment, Audrey was still living with Johnny. Loving a man with whom she could not make love. Uncertain of her own health.

All she wanted, reading this news, was to jump on the first plane to the Dominican Republic, throw her arms around her daughter. Only to do so, Joyce would have to admit to having done this terrible thing.

cag ah

£ 15 for a Bottle of Wine

2009-07-22T12:44:00.001+07:00

Last night Micci had a dream that OH, mum, and her went for a meal. In the dream the lass told them, sorry but we do not have all the drinks stated on the list, fine, they said.

They ordered their meal and then the lass tells them, all they have in drinks wise is a £15 bottle of wine!!! but its £15 PER PERSON, she starts shouting, her mum says she'll go down the road and get a carry out (mind they are supposed to be in a restaurant ).

Apparently she was mouthing off in her sleep, OH woke her up, and no she did not have drinks last night, although she did have cheese toasty before bed.

O, come on...

cag ah

Dream about Having Baby

2009-07-18T21:00:00.000+07:00

Ami Angelowicz had this really weird dream the other night about having a baby. She’d already given birth and the baby was with a group of other babies who were being given up by their mothers for whatever reasons.

She didn’t recognize her at first and started playing with another one. Then she realized it didn’t look like her and went over to the baby that she was sure was hers. She had decided to give the baby up for adoption because she knew she was in no place to have a baby right now— She is 20 years old, in college, and single—but the more she played with it the more she didn’t want to let it go.

She started breast-feeding it at one point, but she tried to do it covertly because she was afraid that she wasn’t allowed to feed it seeing as how it wasn’t really hers anymore. She knew in her dream that she couldn’t keep the baby but she kept going to visit it and hoping that no one would adopt it.

A few months earlier she had a similar dream. She realized she was seven months pregnant and got scared that she hadn’t felt the baby kick yet. Then immediately it started moving around. Someone stole it from her when she was about to give birth and she was on this mission to get it back. She was on the run at the time because the people who had stolen it were also after her. She woke up before she found it. What gives in these dreams?”

cag ah

Fresh Sauerkraut

2009-07-11T19:15:00.002+07:00

Kelley Smith had a dream the other night that she was at her Grandma's house. She was teaching her to make homemade sauerkraut. They were standing in her front yard of her little house. Underneath the branches of the huge shade tree, they shredded cabbage into big aluminum dish pans. In her dream she could feel a cool summertime breeze brush across her shoulder and she could hear the drone of a tractor engine in the distance. An occasional tweet of a bird joined in the symphony of dreamy sounds along with the slow crunch of the cabbage as her Grandma and she chopped away. It was so real it makes her cry just thinking about it. How she wish it hadn't been a dream. She miss her Grandma.

She remember one summer they were eating at "The Provision Company" in Southport, NC. This was before she developed a deadly seafood allergy. She was having a crab burger and her husband was having a fresh flounder sandwich. No words for the goodness. It was one of those food experiences where you loose yourself in the flavor. Your eyes may temporarily roll back in your head and you must be careful not to make inappropriate sounds of pleasure at the table. Her husband asked the owner, "What makes this taste so good." The answer was simple. "That fish was swimming 30 minutes ago." Freshness.

One of her favorite times to eat as a kid was on a garden day, like one of those days she remembered in her dream. On those days vegetables were being harvested, prepared, canned or frozen. And on those nights, supper was no less than amazing. She remember a table full of sliced tomatoes, corn on the cob, slaw, fried squash, cucumbers in vinegar, purple hull peas and a big pan of cornbread. And except for the cornbread, most of it had been growing in the garden only a few hours ago.

In today's society, people have pulled away from the freshness of food for the trade off of convenience. Most moms would rather buy dinner in a bag than take a little time cooking from scratch. They'd rather cook it like "Uncle Ben" or "Betty Crocker" than like Grandma. But in trade for the convenience, we've seen more and more chemicals being introduced into our bodies on a daily basis through our lazy diets. Food allergy diagnosis have risen dramatically. Cancer is almost epidemic. Hormonal systems are all out of whack. And most sad of all..... Kids have no idea what real food tastes like anymore.

You may not have time to make fresh sauerkraut like her Grandma or garden like her mother, but you can take the time to visit a local Farmer's Market or fruit stand, participate in a CSA or just pick up some fresh veggies at the grocery store. Perhaps it's time at your house to introduce your family to some freshness. Show them what real food tastes like.

Sure, we can purchase sauerkraut at the store. But it will always be missing a few key ingredients. One of her favorite parts of the cabbage is the core or the stalk. Most folks leave that out of the sauerkraut, but her Grandma knew she love to crunch on those. So when she was eating from a jar of sauerkraut and found a big ol' stalk, she knew it had been placed there just for her. The other ingredient missing from store bought anything? Love.

cag ah

Dreaming Ex

2009-07-07T20:24:00.000+07:00

Please tell Miss Antelope that this has also happened to you. You know how sometimes when you dream at night you have several dreams? Well, She normally dream a lot but last night was out of the ordinary. Every dream she had was about her ex.

What's strange is they broke up 10 months ago and she really almost never bring him up. The worst part was that these dreams replayed several episodes of their break-up. They had a really bad break up, so since then she has tried to erase him from her memory. This morning she woke up feeling really disturbed because the dreams felt so real, they made her really uncomfortable.

It put her in such a bad mood for the entire day. She has also dated people since the break-up so she is confused with what her subconscious is trying to hint at.

Has this ever happened to you? What would you to prevent this from happening again? Why do you think it happened?

cag ah

Dr Zen Dreams About the Death of His Son

2009-07-06T18:03:00.001+07:00

Dr Zen was wondering whether if you dream your children are dying, does a part of you want that? Isn’t that what dreams are: the manifestation of your unconscious onto the canvas of your sleeping mind?

Is it even meaningful at all? Sometimes he think that the hardest thing in this life is to distinguish signal from noise; or, in darker hours, he think that there is only noise, and the signal, if we feel there is one, is created from whole cloth.

Does it mean there is something wrong with him? What does that even mean? He feel entirely wrong. He often stop and think, he want to be someone else. He can’t distinguish the thought from thinking that he want to be him. A real him, as though such a thing even exists. Does it?

This is the question that he have asked himself often in the past few years, which have not been good for him. Is this him? Or is there, as he feel there is, a “real” him waiting to spring from beneath this beleaguered shell, like a butterfly from a cocoon of shit?

Do others feel like that, like they have a beautiful core that has accreted grit, dirt and shit and if only…

(He know that the cure for if only is to just do it. He is not stupid. He sometimes feel that he is acting stupidly because he has multitudes within him and different parts get to drive the car from time to time, and some of them don’t have a license. Or know how to steer. Or what the pedals do.)

Can’t you just wake up and be who you are? Isn’t that what everyone else does? Isn’t that what he is doing?

He is afraid that it is. He actually fear that this man that he see when he look in the mirror really is him, is the summation of what he could have been, what he put in and took out.

God, he need a drink. he need a god too. He do admire some of those who have one’s ability not to fear life. The teaching aide in his twins’ prep class is a hardcore Christian. He imagine her bouncing out of bed in the morning, delighted that there is a new day for her, that her god has blessed her with health, vitality, joy.

He think he understand envy. He does not want what others have. He does not has any lack of material things. But he envy those who are who they are and even if it meant cutting myself to ribbons and pasting those ribbons into a whole new pattern, he think he want that more than anything, but do not know how.

He does not want them to die. His son has been asking his mother about dying and she does not know what to tell him. He does not know either because it is the only thing he regret about his children: that he has condemned them to be and not to be. Perhaps they will find joy and mind not being less than he does.

He was thinking, he has to tell you to wrap this up, he was dreaming, he mean, but daydreaming, about the hummingbird he saw at Eungella. It was perfectly poised, motionless but for its flickering wings, on a warm afternoon, high above the log it used to perch on, motionless but for the ceaseless motion that created its lack of motion. And he doesn’t know what that means, but he hasn’t forgotten it, and so much else you just forget. It seems to mean something, but what? What if the reason you cannot tell the signal from the noise is simply that you do not understand the signal at all?

Travelling Dream

2009-06-30T17:14:00.001+07:00

Sidejumps often dream of travelling. Last night her dream was of travelling, but with tests along the way. Only some of you passed the test and could carry on with the journey.

So far I have passed, but the journey is not yet ended.

doesn't need much iterpretation that one her feel.

Pretty Intelligentprincess have many dreams of travelling too! She turn them into poems.

cag ah

Horse on Your Dream

2009-06-27T17:03:00.005+07:00

Sigmund Freud better known as the Father of modern psychology had some very interesting thoughts about dreams. In interpreting dreams Freud made a mark on the minds of many people.

At the point when he first studied the dreams meaning he called the mind at sleep the subconscious. The part of our mind that never really made it into the light of day. But the unconscious itself was not really discovered by Freud, but several other doctors were brought to light by William James in a study of Psychology.

What is my dreams meaning? Last night the dream contained a huge horse walking around in a field, and no matter how much attention was paid to the horse, it never came any closer. Ok so what does that dream really mean? You like horses, or if you look in a dream dictionary that you may feel you are not receiving the attention in life you deserve.

So now you know how Freud went about thinking of what dreams meant. Can this still be the case? Does the unconscious mind still repress feelings that we don't want to get out? And the way they are released is through dreams. It may well be, but do we know for sure?

Now sit back and think about dreams and how many different things can come up in dreams. How can you even begin to imagine what kind of repressed sexual feeling some things mean? Some subjects are very easy to imagine, but others not at all.

But do all dreams really deal with sex? Well some just may, but can a case be made for every dream? No not at all, however some will readily disagree. The horse dream in that case will take on a completely different meaning.

No matter how you look at it though, if you agree with Freud or someone else, it still is a very interesting subject matter. Talking about dreams and what you feel they may mean has always made up hours of fun conversation for many friends. Or lunchtime discussions.

In fact you might want to consider maybe Freud was right in some cases. Not about the sex and all dreams being about that. But in his creation of the Id, and the child inside of all of us. Maybe the dreams are ones desires and dreams coming out. As a dream those desires will not hurt anyone no matter what they are about, but the Id or child inside of us has a ton of fun.

That's all Henry Fong thought.
cag ah

An Anime Related Dream

2009-06-24T12:00:00.000+07:00

Last Friday, Matteas set out for a field trip with his class. They went canoeing for four days and they left all the civilization behind them. That was why he thought that he would be cut off from anime, figures, and moe world and he felt a little empty the first day. He really didn't have anything on him that would remind him of who he is and what his hobbies are. But these feelings faded away when rain clouds came and annoying raindrops began falling upon them. Since then he was busy being concerned about the weather. Day ended in a gloomy atmosphere, inside a cold tent on a riverbank.

He would have never imagined that he could have such a pleasant dream in such terrible conditions. Nevertheless, what he saw in his dream was something that he would really like to share with you. It's a shame that one's dreams cannot be visualized yet. He believe that many of you would enjoy that dream as he did.

Now you must be asking, "What did he see?" Okay, he will tell you now. In his dream, he was at a swimming pool and when he looked who is swimming there, his eyes were granted a spectacular sight. There were otaku's dream wives such as Sakagami Tomoyo, Hinagiku Katsura, Akiyama Mio, Fate Testarossa and others, but he can't remember all of them. However, they were small and young, about 5 years old. So cuuute! And then, suddenly, their mamas appeared. Mamas in bikinis, babies in school swimsuits. He felt as if he was in paradise, despite sleeping on a cold and hard surface.

When he think back about it, he find it pretty impressive that human brain can visualize even something that it hasn't seen. He mean, He've never seen any fanart of Hinagiku or Tomoyo as a baby, and still he was able to screen it in his dream. Isn't it great? Human brain really is something. He admire its powers more and more.

Well, that was the first night, and it doesn't end there. He saw an awesome dream even the second night. The conditions were a little bit better then. Though the surface was still hard as a rock, it was at least a little warmer. So much for the surroundings, now for the important part, that dream of mine. It wasn't as wonderful as the dream he saw the first night, but every figure collector would appreciate it.

He don't know where it took place. He think he didn't really recognize that room, but that's not important. He received an unexpected package and when he opened it, he found about 10 nendoroids inside. He can't remember all of them, but he recall there was Shana with black hair, and two yet to be made nendoroids, Mio and Yui. He wish it had been reality, and not just a dream. But he tell you, if Mio and Yui nendoroids turn out at least as good as those in his dream, we can look forward to something very nice.

The last night of the trip, he didn't see any dream, which is a little shame because he believe that he might have another great one. Those places where we slept seem to have some good effects on person's dreams, because his usual dreams are totally nonsensical. He never understand what's going on there and completely forget it in 10 seconds after waking up. The only thing that remains in his mind is that he know he didn't get what was going on in that dream at all.

Obama in My Dream

2009-06-19T10:48:00.001+07:00

Here is the Anchoress recent dream:

In 8 years of Bill Clinton’s presidency, I dreamed about the man once, and it don’t remember feeling good or bad about it.

In 8 years of Bush’s presidency, I may have dreamed of him once. I think I did, but don’t really remember.

I know it is not unusual for people to dream of prominent folks in the news, particularly if they are being barraged with images, sound bites, headlines. For instance, back when he was (and not the AMA) was this administrations “evil dude/organization of the month”.

I was surprised to wake up this morning, ’round 7 AM, from a dream so full of the goodness of Obama, the love of Obama, the grace of Obama, that I was strongly repelled. If I were the time to consider mass-hypnosis, I’d have wondered about it.

In my dream, I was teaching a class in a local school, and Obama came to visit. I was excited with the rest of the children, and he was wonderful. He rolled up his shirtsleeves and got down into the small desks, and helped them with reading, and math and I thought, “he’s a born-teacher; he should be in the classroom, where he shines. I just love him like this.” The students were in awe of him – they looked upon him, with the same mesmerized gaze of adoration we see in some members of the press, as though he was a god, and that brought me down to earth. “You should not encourage that,” I said to Obama. “You should stick to teaching.” And he looked up at me, smiled charmingly, but suddenly, my feelings went cold as I sensed a flick of cold steel within him. That’s the only way I can describe it. He looked at me, understood that my newly-discovered admiration had fled, and turned back to the children, saying, “We’re going to learn a new song. We’re going to sing a new song, are you ready?”

I awoke and jotted down the dream quickly, then fell back to sleep. This time, we were at a community pool, splashing in the water; everyone having fun. But people kept coming up to me, rising from beneath the water, clearing hair from their eyes and saying, “Obama is over there; he wants you to come by.” Obama was there, in a far corner, surrounded by many, all having a great time. I kept refusing. Then there was a party – a huge gathering and once again it was all about Obama, everyone was having a great time. Lots of famous people. At one point Bono offered to sing a song he’d written especially for the occasion if only someone would volunteer to play piano for him, and I thought, “he’s richer than Midas, and there are musicians struggling for work; why didn’t he just hire one to bring with him. Why does someone need to volunteer?” Bono, unable to find that volunteer, did not sing, and I looked around, gathered my family and tried to leave. Obama was at the microphone announcing that he would be talking to us every Sunday for the next three weeks, from every television channel, every available media outlet, and he set his agenda. “The third Sunday, we will be releasing a new song, called “Sing a new song,” and you will all want to learn it; we will all be singing together.” Some in the crowd cheered, but many looked around uncomfortably, and clapped perfunctorily and briefly. “You are not clapping,” a man said to me. “No, I’m keeping my hands free, so I can throw my copy of 1984 at the television screen for the next few Sundays.” The man smiled a tiny smile, and turned away.

I went off and tried to find greeting cards to welcome back a friend who had gone, and was due to return shortly. But the cards were all vapid poems or garishly sentimental, and I awoke.

Why am I sharing these? Well, partly because I think they’re funny and strange, partly because I have never had the experience of dreaming so much of a president. I suspect the dreams are occurring because the man is never not on television. And as a news junkie, I can tell you with some certainty, even though I haven’t numbers before me, that neither President Clinton nor Bush ever ran through the headlines or the videotape like Obama does. Clinton got a lot of coverage during a “vacation from history,” and daily announcements of his great polling numbers. Bush got as much negative coverage as could be written, but little videotape. Toward the last two years of his presidency, if I remember correctly, he would 60-90 seconds on the nightly news shows, if that much.

Obama, on the other hand…I have never seen one man get this much sustained coverage, swooning coverage, near-worshiping, unquestioning, let-us-turn-our-communications-tools-over-to-assist-you-in-your-legislative-goals coverage. And he doesn’t like it if anyone doesn’t swoon. Obama is literally ever-present. Like our sins he is “ever before our eyes,” wherever we turn.

So, I suppose that’s why I am dreaming strange dreams. I may try to take Freud’s advice and identify myself as “everything in” the dreams. I am the water; I am the greeting cards; I am the president; I am the crowd. I am…Bono?

Hmmmm…maybe I’ll take the Jungian track, instead.

And no, I don’t need 100 emails scolding me for calling the president “sin.” I’m not. I’m just having fun and playing on Psalm 51, there, but take it as you like it; people believe what they want to believe.

Awful Dreams: Missing Clothes

2009-03-16T07:52:00.000+07:00

For the past two nights (or mornings, as my dreams happen when I am nearing the time I should wake up), I've been having awful dreams. First was I was in a rundown beach resort where the cottages have three walls only of patches of plywood. The four side of the supposed cottage had only cheesecloth hooked on both end serving as cover. It was the most pathetic outing I've ever been into but the funniest thing is that I actually agreed to stay there.

In my dream I was with my SFC friends who went with me to Bohol. And we were really having fun piling ourselves on top of one another to sleep on that shabby roofless cottage. We later on went to the beach to swim but when we got back, some of our clothes were already missing. I immediately checked my bag to see if my waller and cellphones were still there and i did find it there. But my mistake was I did not check it closer so I was shocked to find my wallet empty and my cellphone case empty as well! I was screaming out of frustration thinking of all the money they siphoned off me.

In my second dream, I was in a salon having my hair done. The problem was the gay cutter was too lazy and sloppy with his work, he left my hair uneven on one side. In my dream, I was again angry, screaming or more like whinning, "What would I do with this??" while holding the ends of my hair in clenched fists. It seemed funny now but I know I was in absolute panic in my dream. I even searched for a customer service counter where I could complain the lousy hair dresser and the customer service people were all looking at me sympathetically and agreeing, "oh yes, it does look bad..."

I don't know what I could get out of those dreams. They seem silly to me now...

cag ah

Crash Sight

2009-03-05T21:49:00.000+07:00

Rob Lenihan wrote a scary dream about his special friend:

“Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream-world into reality.”
--Henry David Thoreau

What does it mean when someone dies in a dream? It is some subconscious message that you want them to die? Or is death in a dream a stand-in for change? I had these questions this week when I dreamed about a former crush of mine whom I had not seen or spoken with in seven years.

This woman--we’ll call Mary Jane--never returned my affection, but she was always ready to laugh at my jokes and call me when she needed someone to talk to. I hinted at, but never really told her of my feelings for fear of losing whatever relationship we had, but I kept hoping and hoping that I’d win her over. Brace yourself for a shock, but my hoping didn’t do me any good.

For when it came to love, sex and marriage, Mary Jane, like so many woman in my life, made sure to get that from somebody else. The last time I heard from her was in 2002, when she called me to whine about her boyfriend dumping her.

That was very stressful time of my life. September 11 was still a fresh wound at this time and it was a bad memory for me, since I was standing across the street when the planes hit.

My mother was very ill then and she would eventually die in July of ’02. So I was kind of thrilled to hear from Mary Jane, praying like some desperate little puppy that she would finally see me for the prize catch that I am.

During our phone conversation, I told her that I had always been crazy about her, and she was so surprised, no, really? Why, she had no idea…a total mystery to her…a shocking revelation…ah, screw you, sweetheart.

We talked about getting together soon, but I never heard from her again. I found out that boyfriend had taken her back and they were getting married.

So Mary Jane managed to call in the period between the two worst events of my life—9/11 and my mother’s death—and talk about herself.
I wrote off Mary Jane and for the most part, I kept her out of my life. I did the occasional Google search for her name, but even that ran eventually ran its course like a virus.

But then Mary Jane made a surprise return to my life on Thursday, in both reality and fantasy.

I learned that she had been laid off from her job at New England newspaper-- along with about 100 other people in yet another sign of this industry’s demise.

When I got the news, perhaps—just perhaps--I felt the briefest, tiniest surge of schadenfreude about her situation before I began to shudder at the thought of anyone being out of work right now.

The job situation is so dismal these days the employment numbers read more like a casualty list from the front. Today it’s you, tomorrow it’s you, and no one is above the slaughter.

And then that night I dreamed about Mary Jane. Specifically, I dreamed she had been killed while flying some strange one-man aircraft.

In the dream I was reading a newspaper account of the accident, which said Mary Jane was adjusting a video camera to aim at herself—some kind a flight recorder I suppose—when the plane suddenly dipped to the left and smashed to the ground.

Hard Landing

I “saw” the wreckage, but nothing else, thank God. It was just a small pile of smoldering debris; it was hard to believe anyone could fly in that thing.

And then I was walking on some country road, which I was believe was close to the crash site, and I started crying.

I’m sorry I was so angry, I thought. I’ll see you soon, Mary Jane. And maybe you’ll love me in the afterlife.

I woke up shuddering, convinced for a second that Mary Jane was actually deceased. It took a few moments before I realized that she was okay, but I was still shaken by this nightmare. I had actually killed somebody in my mind.

I'm terrified of flying and this fear, combined with the recent news of plane crashes, plus an NBC special I watched about a Concorde crash, probably all combined to create the deadly airplane vision in my mind.

I’ve been going through some strange times recently regarding some of my ex-girlfriends. I learned that one woman I had treated terribly had become a lesbian; and another one whom I despised for going out of her way to humiliate me was happily married with a child.

In my little world, this last beast does not deserve to be happy, but should rightly be rotting in some Eastern European dungeon for crimes against my masculinity. Really have to lay off Google...

But this dream about Mary Jane, that was the strangest incident of all—though she was never my girlfriend, of course.

It’s interesting to note the presence of the video camera as the cause of death, which harks back to my real-life experience with Mary Jane being self-centered and uncaring.

So was I subconsciously hoping Mary Jane would die because she rejected me? I was angry with her, but, hell, that’s pretty much passed.

The shrinks say that we appear as every one and everything in our dreams, so in addition to being the mourner, I’m also the victim, the demolished plane, and even the strange lady I saw walking by me just before I woke up. (What the hell was with her, anyway, and why did she do a double take when I walked by?)

Perhaps the “death” was as a substitute image for Mary Jane losing her job because it can be such a traumatic event. And my guilt was…my guilt.

I’d like to think that the death was meant to symbolize the demise of any lingering hostility I felt toward Mary Jane, that it’s high time to bury my anger and move the hell on.

I like that theory the best, so I’m going to go with that one. I’ll put my anger aside, focus on the present, and keep one eye on the sky.

End of the world?

2009-03-03T21:36:00.000+07:00

Do dreams about end of the world mean anything? On the night of February 22, 2009 I had yet another "end of the world" dream, that's just my term for them. Anyhow recently over the past year and half or so I've had three Armageddon/revelation/end of the world dreams. I usually wake up abruptly and realize that I have only slept for one hour. Almost all of these dreams involve comets hitting the earth. This fourth dream was a lot more realistic than my other ones because the setting took place within and around my house. The images are still very fresh in my mind.

It starts out with me standing in the driveway in front of my house, my mom and sister in the garage, when I notice that a storm is heading towards us, I also notice that there's this really big and fluffy cloud off to the right close by and it stood out because it was white contrasting sharply with the darkening sky. As I'm looking at the cloud I see a white lion along with another thinner figure standing next to it, they were both sort of translucent yet luminescent at the same time, kind of glimmering. I presumed that it was Jesus because of the whole "lion and the lamb" thing and because his face was bright and I couldn't quite make out the features but I just knew it was supposed to be him. He then raised one arm up and pointed directly at me and I'm not sure if he said anything or if I just heard it in my head but he said, "I love you, little one" and I thought wow that was really weird, especially because he pointed directly at me.

Then I glanced over and I could see behind my house in the somewhat close distance a large black/gray cloud sorta looked like it could be really thick smoke too--and it rose very high into the sky and there were flashes of lightning. I told my mom and sister to get inside because of the huge storm. And when I got inside the lights flickered as if the power were going to go out at any moment, so I started trying to get some flashlights. Then I happened to look out the window and saw that the skies were darkening as the cloud grew larger and closer. I looked over to the left and there was a man in the dark cloud--he really looked like a man that was just larger and in the clouds. He had a knife thing in his hand and his face was in a shadow so I couldn't see who it was or make out any features.

Anyways I watched him strike the cloud in a downward stabbing motion with the knife and each time he did, a reddish-orange streak would shoot up into the sky and disappear... Sorta like when you watch fireworks. This happened several times and then I watched as one of the streaks went into the air but it didn't disappear instead it seem to arc in the sky and shoot in my direction and I could see that it was a flaming comet and I ran downstairs and yelling about getting under cover and that the things I had been dreaming about were coming true. I watched horrified as comets hit the yards of my neighbors' house, some streaking narrowly past ours and I was scared that one was going to crash into our house, right before I woke up I realized that none of the comets were hitting our house, they all seemed to be avoiding our house.

One of the significant things that I noticed about my dream was the presence of only my mom, my sister, and me. My older brother and my dad were missing from the equation. My brother and my dad are both not Christians and I found the fact that they weren't in my dream may mean something but I'm unsure. Anyways these dreams always scare me slightly upon awakening and I wonder if the frequency and recurring theme of these dreams is some sort of message or just an unusual coincidence.

Angelina Jolie in my dream

2009-03-02T23:44:00.001+07:00

This time I want to congratulate Don Willmott, a lucky guy whom Angelina Jolie came on his dream:

Last night I treated myself to a DVD double feature of Wanted and Changeling. Then I went to sleep, and, as luck would have it, Angelina Jolie showed up in my dream. We were attending an Oscars party together, sitting at a table and making snarky comments about all the sycophants who were hanging around her. Then, to shake things up a little, she pulled a silver pistol out of her purse and put it on the table in front of her just to see how people would react. Genius!

Seeing Wanted reminded me of Angelina in her warrior mode of Tomb Raider and Mr. and Mrs. Smith, while Changeling reminded me of her victim mode of A Mighty Heart and The Good Shepherd. She really can do it all. Though I am fairly certain that she will lose out on Oscar night to Kate Winslet, I feel that she deserves an Academy Award simply for being what Hollywood really needs right now: a real honest-to-God movie star. Forget all the celebrity baggage and attempts to decode what Angelina really means. Tom Junod pretty much ruined that exercise for everyone with his ridiculously epic thumbsucker in Esquire a couple of years back.

Just look at what’s on the screen. Meanwhile, Angie, you can visit me in my dreams anytime. I’m sure we’ll have a blast.

The Anatomy of a Breakup

2009-03-01T21:21:00.001+07:00

Heidi talk about her dream last night:

I had a dream last night about a boy I haven’t thought about in a long time. I don’t know why I dream about past – dare I say on the sake of cheesiness - “lovers” but sometimes, usually drunkenly, I do.

Dreams, as I have learned in a couple of psychology courses over the years, are often our subconscious thoughts. I would say it’s our subconscious waging war with reality but that might be taking it a little too far. Either way, there are a number of theories about why we dream what we do and what they mean but I’m not getting into that. This kid was apparently creeping around in my subconscious for whatever reason last night.

I met him about a month into my freshman year of college. Meeting was weird - we began speaking over the all famous livejournal but consequently, were in a class together my freshman year. He was a year ahead of me, and I was…well…naive.

I call myself naive often because often times, I can be. We all are once in a while. But in my early days of college? I was…wicked niave. Yes, I dropped the wicked bomb.

In my dream, which I now vaguely remember, we were swimming somewhere, and he kept telling me how he always cared about me and how he was sorry for hurting me. I don’t remember much of the details but it struck a cord with me thus remembering it upon waking up, which I don’t usually do.

You see, I talk a lot about The Ex being the significant boy of my college experience. My first love if you will. I had a few “loves” in the way young love is, but The Ex bit me to the core, he got me in ways that up until Fiance, no one had. Of course that’s not always a good thing - as I’ve said before, the Ex and I had an arsenal on one another. An arsenal that can only be built over years of long talks, an arsenal that was based on a friendship that took a couple years to build that turned into attraction (that had been there from day 1) turned into love. An arsenal that he blew up. That I couldn’t forgive him for blowing up…I couldn’t. I tried…God did I try but I couldn’t trust him in the same way that I had up until that icy December night. *sigh*

But this guy…was the FIRST. I thought the world of him, so when, a month and a half later, after a whirlwind of a college romance, he told me, it was better - for my sake - if we cooled off. I needed to be more social, he told me. In retrospect, despite the tears, the crying, the heartbreak….he was right. My college experience probably wouldn’t have been what it was had he not had the foresight to see that I was wayyy too attached and well…wasn’t making my own friends.

Of course the ending wasn’t that easy. There was longing on my behalf, heartbreak that bit me to the core, loneliness, nights where he said he’d call and didn’t. Nights where he said he’s stop by and didn’t. It wasn’t as easy as “you need to be more social” no no, my eighteen year old self didn’t see it that way. My eighteen year old self was heartbroken and at eighteen in a new place with no one that you’ve really connected with? It’s grueling.

Of course, I do need to thank him for that, as it was during that period that I met my L. L lived upstairs from me, we met when we were doing laundry on a rainy day. That girl was my rock freshman year, we stayed up far too many talking about life and love and our experiences, and ordering far too much late night Dominoes. She is by far, even now despite the fact that our contact is more about phone tag and short emails, still one of the most genuine people I know.

That boy and I stayed friends. Kind of. We had the occasional run in that resulted in a few late night run-ins, and of course a mid day date after one boy once told me “you’re not good enough for me.” There were stolen kisses a couple years later, stolen glances during a karaoke night…it was a whirlwind through my first three years but sometime after all that, I stopped needing him to rescue me. I stopped needing anyone to rescue me.

He moved on of course, as did I. No more stolen kisses or glances, or any of that. I don’t know when we lost touch, but probably after an autumn night at karaoke….a few months later he had a girlfriend and that was it. We were cordial of course, but that’s all I ever really want with any of my ex’s.

But he taught me about myself. I guess that’s all that matter in regards to heartbreak and relationships isn’t it - learning about yourself and growing from the pain in the end.

I’ve learned something from all the boys/men I’ve dated - about myself, tolerance for insults, tolerance for controlling boys, learning who I have chemistry with, how to know what chemistry is (ah-hem The Goalie….) and then of course, when to shut it down. When to walk away. When the hurt, the pain, the resentment is too much and love just isn’t enough to save it (The Ex). Those are the hardest ones. Because it’s not that you don’t love them, because you do, but too much happens - fighting, breaking up, getting back together again thinking you can make it work….when in reality? Everything happens for a reason.

I wonder what that First Guy is up to these days. I hope he’s happy, I hope if he’s not that he finds happiness. He deserves it. He’s smart, ambitious (which I always find attractive), among other things. Sometimes, as I have learned, just because someone’s not right for you? Doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. I feel that in the heat of emotions, we often lose sight of that.

Dreams and the Unconscious Mind

2009-02-27T13:13:00.001+07:00

What is Julie Redstone thought about dream?:

The activity of the unconscious mind goes on all of the time whether we are aware of it or not. This activity includes many layers of perception that have to do with connecting the past and the present, the present and the future, and with integrating the meaning of events, emotions, and circumstances into our psychic structure and energy body.

Historically, what has been referred to as the 'unconscious mind' related primarily to repressed or suppressed

emotions or attitudes that the watchful ego could not allow into everyday awareness. However, this is a limited perception of this sphere of activity, for in addition to suppression, the function of the unconscious mind is one of integration, understanding, and healing, each of which can result in new experiences for the psyche as well as old.

Many of these new experiences occur during the dream state. The unconscious mind includes thoughts and emotions that have not crossed over into daytime awareness, but it also includes perceptions and intuitions that have been barely noticed that are not yet held as valid by waking consciousness. Such perceptions run the gamut from subtle observations of things having to do with others that the waking self may not register – things such as the meaning of the body language that others display, the energetic and emotional effect of things people say, the interpretation of hidden motivations that one may witness - to intuitions that partake of a different reality altogether whose questioned validity has placed them in the realm of the unconscious rather than in the realm of everyday awareness.

In this category are:
- perceptions of energies of different kinds,
- messages from another aspect of the self,
- guidance from beings from other realms,
- altered perceptions of reality that pierce through the outer layer of separation between objects and people, and
- a sense of the holy or sacred that may not yet be available to waking experience.

Also included in this category are 'bleed-throughs' or remembrances from other lifetimes and premonitions of things yet to come. While many of these aspects of the unconscious mind remain hidden from daytime knowing, during sleep they are given greater permission to emerge since at this time the ego is less vigilant.

Then, such things as guarded emotions or emotions that seem much stronger than what we are actually aware of feeling, appear, as do ideas and perceptions that may not have been given attention during the day.

Furthermore, because of the greater relaxation of mental control during sleep, new experiences can occur that further the growth of the self and that create linkages with the soul and higher self. These experiences are not precisely dreams. Rather, they are events of a spiritual nature which open the doors to a multidimensional reality in which both self and outer reality can be perceived in a different way.

For example, there may be an experience that seems quite real of being in a foreign or unfamiliar environment and of meeting someone and receiving a message of instruction. Though the landscape of such an environment may be ordinary, the message that is received may not be. This can be an example of a translation of an other-dimensional experience of receiving guidance into the physical realm in a way that permits the embodied self to receive it. The meaning of the message remains, placed in a context that waking consciousness can hold and relate to. Such experiences of other-dimensional realities are more common today than previously, produced by the enhancement of light and the increased closeness of dimensions of a higher vibration to the one of physical reality.

In the end, the unconscious mind may be viewed as a river whose flow is connected to both the emotions that are felt during daily experience, and to the movement of learning that is part of the orchestration of the soul-level of our being. From this level, the soul continually seeks to bring its wisdom, knowledge, and love into the embodied state of our life. The movement toward growth initiated from the soul-level can result in dreams that are teaching tools as well as new experiences. When treated with respect and with an openness to learn from them that befits their sacred origin, we accelerate the emotional and spiritual growth that is central to our reason for being. We also move past more limited concepts of personal identity that may have been acquired in the past, into an open-ended, ever-expanding view of who we are and a greater awareness of the flow of life .

cag ah

I Love You

2009-02-25T13:03:00.000+07:00

mmm...what a sweet dream hara reita's had:

Today I'm here again to post. I didn't want to forget this lyric that I was thinking while I was trying to sleep last night.

So I'll just share this with you all.

Today I had the most beautiful dream I've ever had in my entire life x3 I dreamt that... the guy that... YOU KNOW... said in my ear "I love you".

I know it's only a dream, but he once said in real "I adore you" x3 So I thought of him when I wrote this. And I also thought about the song "Lonely Day" by System of a Down, because it was the first song he ever played to me.

My pilow is full of water
Everytime I see it
All of my tears
Appear
All of my fears
Disappear...

There is no one here...
Just me
I'm in no where
Just wanted you to be here

Take me to the other side
Let us slide
In the world
Let us break it
In two sides

I'll set down my gun
once I see peace
In my own land...
But now
The world is just a piece
Of nothing
Just like me...
Would you take me
To a highland?

There is no one here...
Just me
I'm in no where
Just wanted you to be here

Take me to the other side
Let us slide
In the world
Let us break it
In two sides

cag ah

Mona's Weird Dream

2009-02-19T23:41:00.000+07:00

Here is Mona's weird dream:

Last night I had a really weird dream. I always have weird dreams, but I try to always find a meaning to the symbols in it, but this one was hard for me to understand.

I dreamt that my tooth hurt, and I tried so hard to take it out with my bare fingers. I ended up taking the tooth out and throwing it a dirty bowl. The tooth had blood stains, and the root of the tooth was black. It was in perfect condition, no decay, but just black root.

My mouth was gushing blood from what I did. It wouldn’t stop. Then I ended up near a couch and fainting. Many people surrounded me, but I don’t know who they were. They tried to help me and stop the bleeding. Some kept saying you finally got rid of the black. Finally. Then, they left.

I woke up and I was in a room with many girls. Each one was busy, but I noticed that my mouth was still bleeding, but I got up and just looked around. The girls seemed familiar and some I knew, but others I didn’t. Each one was doing something that I can’t remember now. Maybe talking to someone or reading or studying. I wasn’t sure. So I just walked around trying to talk to someone, but they didn’t even look at me. No one talked to me because they couldn’t see me or maybe they are just ignoring me.

Then, I woke up and I can’t remember any other details.

So what does it mean?

cag ah

What if I sleep-talk about my secret crush?

2009-02-18T23:22:00.001+07:00

Below is the opinion made by Cary Tennis upon Sleep Talker question:

Dear Cary,

I have been in a wonderful and loving relationship for the past four years and change, with its foreseeable share of ups and downs, small and large. Right now, it's in a relatively long-distance period -- my boyfriend and I are both students (he's in med school, I'm in grad school).

We live three and a half hours away from each other, and see each other roughly two weekends per month during the school year. We both really enjoy our programs, our fellow students and each other. Due to the distance, our different programs, and the normal increase in comfort in the relationship that comes with being with someone for a long time, I maintain crushes on a few people, despite loving my boyfriend deeply. I assume the same holds for him, and I'm not too worried about that -- we take the relationship as it goes, it's worked well, and we're open to changes for better or worse. Here's the thing:

I talk in my sleep. Sometimes I have romantic and/or sexual dreams about different people I'm attracted to -- and I think that this is normal and OK -- and I'm worried about, uh, saying something out loud that I might fantasize about saying, knowing it wouldn't happen (certainly not now, anyway), and the possible reaction. Really, what do you say in that situation?

This is mostly a hypothetical question -- as far as I know, I haven't done it, and for all I know, he wouldn't have a problem with it. But I know that it's hard to be honest about things like that -- if I heard him talk in his sleep about something with another woman, I know I would feel hurt, even knowing that I might do it, and that I still love him too much to do anything outside of dream world. How do you explain the difference between dreaming -- what the mind does when you're asleep -- and conscious dreaming -- what I would love to do if there were no material/emotional/whatever constraints -- since saying, "I dreamed about sleeping with So-and-So" could easily be misinterpreted!

What do you think? I don't lose sleep over this, but I think about it often!

Sleep Talker

Dear Sleep Talker,

There is the world we present to our lover. And there is the world of our unconscious. They are different.

We are not responsible for our unconscious. Often, we do not know what is in our unconscious. It is as though a stranger handed us a bag and asked us to carry it through life. When the bag grows heavy, even though we have been instructed not to open it, we open it, and geese fly out. Why geese?

We do not know. If our lover is present when the geese fly out, he may ask, Why geese?

We do not know. So we may try to interpret the geese. But we are sure the geese have nothing to do with our lover.

Or do they? Maybe everything is actually connected, and everything means something. Then what? The implications of such a belief are staggering. If we choose to believe everything is connected and everything is meaningful, we must then have a God to sort it out. So I prefer to believe that the unconscious can tell us much, but that its signs are by no means always auguries. There is flotsam and jetsam, too.

The unconscious is vast and anarchic. So we try to live in the realm of conscious decision and action. What is important is that you can make honest commitments to your lover and keep them. It is not his job to try to figure out if your dreams indicate that you are going to be unfaithful to him. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen. If you are hiding things from him, you are hiding things from him. Your dreams are not the problem. If he distrusts you, then he distrusts you. Your dreams are not the problem. The unconscious is not the problem, any more than the actions of the animals we live with are the problem. You may introduce your lover to your unconscious and see how he likes it; it may be a good sign if he and your unconscious get along, the way it is sometimes a good sign if your boyfriend gets along with your dog. But you are not going to obey your dog any more than you would obey your unconscious. If your dog tells you to have an affair, are you going to listen to him?

The unconscious is different from intuition. Intuition is a blending of knowledge and instinct, and can be an accurate guide.

But the unconscious itself? It is like we are floating together in a great sea; all that is visible is our faces; the great sea we float in is vast; we can't see everything; we can hardly see anything at all. We receive messages and can't decode them. Last night, after spending an interesting evening writing with some friends in a roped-off section of our local Lucky Penny, I dreamed I had two lids of pot in a briefcase and I walked off the porch of an old shack down South and put the briefcase on the floor of the front passenger side of an old Oldsmobile -- not a Cutlass, but the big, four-door one, maybe the 88 -- and then I walked away and the driver's side door exploded. I ran back into the shack. I came out and a bullet went over my left shoulder and into the car. Then another bullet. It occurred to me that someone was actually shooting at the car; every time I approached the car, wanting my marijuana, the rifle went off again. This I found disturbing.

I told my wife. She did not know what to make of it. She did not, however, conclude that I was in danger of starting to smoke pot again.

I might just as well have dreamt that I had affairs with all the women in Hong Kong, or that I was a serial killer of children, or that I was a right-wing fanatic poisoning the water system of Bolinas; the stuff of the unconscious is so vast and so inscrutable that only madness and cruelty would ensue, were we to base our decisions on what comes to others in their dreams. We would be living in a world, then, of diviners and sorcerers. We would be burning witches and lynching poets.

What does my dream about buying two lids of pot and putting them in my briefcase tell me? It may tell me something about my emotional state -- that, as a former addict, I occasionally have dreams of getting high, that as a sentimentalist I sometimes miss the old days, I miss the South, I miss my youth. But I don't think it means I'm going to go buy some pot and put it in my briefcase and put the briefcase on the floor of the front seat passenger side of an Oldsmobile. I don't have an Oldsmobile. No one is shooting at me.

Or are they? Again, metaphorically, it gives one pause: Who might be shooting at me, if anyone were shooting at me? What am I afraid of? It does mean something, but it is metaphorical. It may mean that I feel I am being sniped at from over my left shoulder, or that my vulnerabilities are targeted by unseen assassins, or that there is danger in hiding things, or that my desire to get high is putting me in jeopardy. This, of course, is metaphorical: the need to get high being the tendency to blot out the world, to seek lesser consciousness rather than more, the desire to regress. So it may indeed mean something. It may mean that I need to redouble my efforts to live in the sunshine.

It may also mean that I should not eat the meatloaf at the Lucky Penny, even though it was an interesting culinary experience.

cag ah

The Long Journey of Faith: A Calling to Uganda

2009-02-17T23:17:00.000+07:00

This article is delivered by Kyle Reyes:

Martha Hoffman lives an apparently ordinary suburban life in Madison. She's been married for 16 years. She has three children - 15, 11, and 5. And it came as a complete surprise when she woke up one day and said she was going to Uganda.

"For many years, I had a dream that I was somewhere far away helping children in need," she said. "For a long time, I didn't really pay much attention to it. I mean, it wouldn’t be that unusual that a mom dreams about taking care of children – that’s what I do! But this dream soon stood out from the rest."

For seven years she dreamed of this, finding herself becoming more and more frustrated. That's when Martha started praying for an answer.

Then one night she had the dream again, with an addendum.

"At the end of the dream, my grandmother appeared to me. She gave me a small bark purse," she said. "That was it. I sprang out of bed and yelled 'it's Uganda!' My husband kind of looked at me like 'I've lost her...'."

She knew it was Uganda because the purse in the dream was one her grandmother had given to her more than 30 years ago. It came from her grandmother's friend - a missionary in Uganda.

"You see, a seed had been lovingly planted in me as a child, and now it had grown," she said.

Martha then knew her mission, but she didn't know why.

In an email Martha sent to nbcconnecticut.com explaining her epiphany, she said:

"I was so excited that I knew where this place was. But still, I questioned this new finding. Is this really where I am supposed to go? Could it really be Uganda? That is so far away and scares me! Couldn’t it just be Bridgeport? Without going into a few pages of detail on how this was confirmed, reconfirmed and reaffirmed to me about 20 times, the answer was a resounding Y-E-S. So, not quite sure what to do with all this, I took it to my priest. I told him about my calling and he helped me make connections with other folks in Connecticut who already have established ways of helping out in Uganda. Within three days, I was having lunch with a visiting bishop from Uganda…who just so happened to be visiting a dear friend in a nearby town. Coincidence?! Just the first of a mound of "coincidences!" I next went to NYC and saw a very eye-opening exhibit put on by World Vision about HIV/AIDS, as well as the plight of the children in war torn Northern Uganda. I discovered a church in a nearby town that had a mission trip to Uganda planned, and decided after careful and prayerful discussion to ask them if I could “jump in their suitcases” and come along. They said yes, and the plans were put in place."

Despite the doubters and the friends who criticized Martha, she finalized the plans to go. The Monday after Thanksgiving 2006, she got on a plane to Entebbe, Uganda.

She said the things she saw changed her life: The children, the families, the violence, the terrible health care, and the extreme poverty.

"Every day when I was there was a test of faith. And I think continuing to follow things you believe in and your heart and continuing to go forward with them - everyone may not look at it from a spiritual perspective, but I really believe it all revolves around faith. Believing you're doing what you should be doing. You're going on a path that's been placed before you."

Martha returned as a new person. Her husband gave her more support than she could have possibly imagined.

But perhaps the most touching experience was a gift left in Martha's stocking on Christmas morning.

"My then 13-year-old had written a paper for her English class while I was away… and it was about me. It was entitled 'My Hero'. I cried reading it. Not the typical words most moms hear from their teenage daughter! I was so proud of her and her ability to see so clearly what had happened in our home… at such a tender age."

Martha was becoming a hero to more than just her own daughter. Martha just returned from her second trip to Uganda, where she was hailed a hero by thousands of villagers.

"The whole thing really has revolved around faith. My personal faith journey, listening to an inner voice or a calling and just following that."

She's also launched a non-profit agency called "Call to Care Uganda" to help the impoverished children and their families.

Here are just a few of the group's accomplishments, as highlighted by Martha:

- Formed "Team Uganda" at St. Andrew's church in Madison
- Brought hundreds of dollars (and pounds!) of school supplies
- Sponsorship of four orphans’ scholastic and upkeep needs
- Annual livestock fundraising project raising thousands for orphans in Mukono, Uganda

- Funded completion of plumbing for dormitory lavatories at CHAIN orphanage

- Care, housing and fellowship for five visiting Ugandan friends in Madison, one was the retired Archbishop of Uganda
- Support of clergy in Uganda with money and clothing
- Sale of Ugandan craft items to support children’s programs and education in Mukono and Soroti, with all profits going directly back to our projects for them.
- Collaborated with community and civic organizations to raise awareness and build relationships to install five wells in poor villages sustaining thousands of people who were previously drinking contaminated water as their only option; total cost $40,000
- Worked with businesses and schools on initiatives that provided new shoes, church/play clothes, and bedding to orphans in Mukono
- Provided mosquito nets to families in need in Kaberamaido District
- Funded purchase of land for future children’s community center in Kaberamaido

These accomplishments, said Martha, wouldn't have been possible without the power of faith.

"To watch lives transformed both in Uganda and here has been a beautiful thing to see unfold. It's really been just about trusting my faith. It continues to guide me every day," she said. "It's just faith in knowing that I’m doing what I should be doing."

cag ah

Visions, Spirits, And Maybe Some Wind Power

2009-02-16T09:30:00.001+07:00

Ever since I was little, I've had strange dreams and abilities. When I was eleven I was constantly bombarded with visions of people dying. I have always had a very vivid imagination, so I dismissed my visions as my mind wandering. But when some of my visions came true, I panicked. I told my friend Jen, who is a medium, and she didn't believe me.

For example, I had a vision of the tsunamis in Asia. I was sitting on my bed and suddenly the weirdest feeling came over me: it wanted me to look at the ceiling above my bed. As I looked, the plain white of the ceiling transformed into a huge wave. I saw people running and then, abruptly, the vision stopped. I was so exhausted that I nearly fell asleep right then and there. At the time I had no idea that I was psychic so, as I mentioned before, I blew it off as my imagination. But recently my powers have increased.

Just a few days ago I had a dream about me and a boy I have never seen before. We were in the house next door which hasn't been occupied for years. We were running away from something, I can't recall what it was. It was very hazy, but when I woke up I was compelled to find the boy. I had a feeling (usually when I have feelings they come true) that I would see him soon, so I've been on the lookout. But I'm not really sure I'll be able to find him, or if in fact it was only a dream.

I think I'm also able to control wind. When I'm upset the wind blows ferociously and when I'm happy or too hot it's just a little breeze. I've tried just whispering what I want the wind to do and it does it. Again I'm not sure if this is just chance or if I'm really controlling the wind.

Just today in school there was a spirit in my Language Arts class. She was tall and blond, wearing a long gauzy dress. She walked up to me and wrapped her hands around my throat. In a whispery voice she asked me, "Who is he?" My friend Jen later said that my eyes turned black when the spirit was talking to me.

The strange thing is I really have no idea who the blond lady was asking me about.

If anyone out there is able to tell if these occurrences are real or just a figment of my imagination please help. I'm feeling very confused so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

cag ah

Crazy Dream … Possibly a Nightmare!

2009-02-15T09:17:00.000+07:00

There is just something not right about today. It hasn’t since just after 3 this AM as I woke up in a sweat from a dream that I had. It has been so long since I have had one of these. So long … that I cannot even remember the last time a dream had me too scared to fall back asleep. I would spend much of the remainder of the morning just lying in bed until my body gave in and I was back to sleep. The downside to this is that my snooze button got some extra work this morning.

I cannot remember much from my dream, but I know it felt as though I was there. The taste of the air was that realistic. I do remember being at the Parker’s Hotel … just outside Swastika … at the North Y. I cannot remember what was going on or who were all there … but it was so realistic. However, at the same time, I felt as though I was watching over all who was there. An apparition of sorts.

The dream was not confined to this one area as I visited many different places … all from back home. Many places I have visited before in my dreams, but never been there in person. Places that you visit every now and then. They are familiar and etched onto some of the pathways of the mind. It has been a while since I have visited these mysterious places of fiction. Yet one place is not fiction … KLCVI … the old high school.

KLCVI has always had a special feeling to it - at least for me. There is a presence that you feel once you step inside the building - especially in the gym area. Maybe that is why it feels so scary to visit the old KLCVI on the once upon a dreams. And why was it this night that it would haunt me? Maybe it was just my cooking :D

So I decided to eat out tonight … and it was SO WEIRD! The restaurant that I visit once a week had these two creepy looking salt and pepper shakers on the table. There was never salt and pepper shakers on the tables … and here I was looking at the white and black shakes of creepiness. So I just had to take a picture of the black and white people.

When I got home tonight, I looked through some old KLCVI pictures. The ones that I took a few weeks before I moved to Sweden. It has been that long since I last looked at them. I cannot believe how bad the quality of the pictures were … for not being taken that long ago. Anywho … I decided to take these and fit them with some fitting music to compliment my dream … and throw it up on the TUBE. Enjoy!

cag ah

hints to make your Children Valentine’s day Safe and Fun

2009-01-28T12:18:00.001+07:00

Following are activities at school to make Valentine’s Day safe and fun for everyone:

- Speak to the teacher beforehand and remind him or her of your child’s food allergies.

- Ask that the teacher request no food be put in the cards. If food will be allowed in cards, provide the teacher with a list to send home so other parents know what is safe to put in your child’s Valentine’s cards.

- Encourage the use of non-candy gifts for Valentine’s Day cards such as:

1. Handmade paper flowers or hearts
2. Little toys from the dollar store or a party store
3. Stickers

- If food will be placed in the cards, request that the teacher ask that no students be allowed to open their cards until they are home.

- Volunteer to help out with the party if there is one and offer to be in charge of snacks for the party.

- Bring in a special safe snack for your child.

- Double-check your child’s cards and gifts before bringing them home.

My crazy dream

2008-12-22T10:24:00.000+07:00

A couple of weeks ago I stopped dreaming. Ask my wife and close friends and they’ll tell you I have some really crazy dreams. Actually crazy doesn’t describe them accurately enough. Some are just flat out weird. But a couple of weeks ago I quit dreaming. Or at least I quit remembering what I was dreaming about. Most of the time I can remember my dreams in great detail. Sometimes even color. (Even though I’ve heard that’s not possible!)

A few nights ago I finally had another really vivid and crazy dream. It all started out with me going to the dentist. One of my least favorite places to go. It ranks right up there with car repairs. A necessary evil! So I was at this dentist office and it must have been a new dentist, because I didn’t recognize the place and I didn’t recognize the dentist. When he examined my teeth he found a cavity so he quickly filled it. But as I was leaving it just didn’t feel right. The new filling was rough and jagged and I was worried it would keep bothering me. I found some dental floss and slid it between the two teeth where the new filling was and it caused the new filling to fall out.

The dream then turned into an all day process of trying to get the dentist to fix the messed up filling. It was chaos! They were too busy to work me in, so I had to wait. At one point I even walked down the street to a Walmart and stood in line to get into the store. I’m not sure why there was a line and once I got to the front, I found out it was the garden department and since I was going into the regular store I wasn’t required to wait. Frustrating!

I finally made it back to the dentist’s office by the end of the day. When I arrived my wife and son were there waiting for me. Apparently they had been waiting for a long time because my son had grown impatient and taken off all his clothes. He was running around the office in his walker buck naked. I was embarrassed, but I finally got my tooth filled.

Normally I wouldn’t share a dream like this, but it was weired how the next day at work seemed vaguely familiar. I was at the refinery instead of a dentist office, but everything we tried to do that day was like pulling teeth. It was frustrating and at one point, the way I yelled at an inspector, was flat out embarrassing.

As we walked out of the refinery that evening, I shared my dream with my two coworkers. We had a good laugh and they both agreed it sounded a lot like our experiences that day. Chaotic and frustrating!

cag ah

by water's edge

2008-12-20T16:28:00.000+07:00

I had the strangest dream last night...

In my dream, I was best friends with a guy named Josh. He was tall, with dark hair and had incredibly sad eyes. The two of us were in a wooden row boat and he was taking me somewhere. He was leaving me actually. The water was very calm and there was no one else around and eventually we ended up at a cherry blossom tree along the edge of the water. This tree was "our" place...the place where the two of us realized that we would be friends for life. The problem was though that this tree was also the same place where he fell in love...but not with me. He was leaving me because things could no longer be the same. He was saying goodbye because in some strange way, me and the girl that he fell in love with were one in the same...too much the same. In my dream, I remember feeling so sad...missing him already and yet he was sitting right in front on me still rowing the boat. He kept looking at me as though he wanted me to know that this wasn't happening because he didn't love me. He did...but it was time.

After a while, we weren't on the water anymore. We were on land now. As I looked around trying to figure out how I gotten there, he handed me a balloon and said "I simply couldn't resist". Then he kissed me on the forehead and walked away. As I watched him leave, my heart filled with sadness and I couldn't take it anymore. I ran up to him, grabbed his arm and when he turned around, I hugged him. I held on so tight and just stayed there with my arms wrapped around his neck...and then I woke up.

There are two things about this dream that seemed especially odd to me; first of all, this guy...this friend. When I was much younger, I used to fantasize about this kind of friendship even more so than I did about falling in love and getting married. I daydreamed about a friendship that wanted nothing more than to protect me from life and love. I wished for a handsome guy that I could run to every time I had my heart broken. I wished for a guy that would remind me that they were all crazy and didn't deserve me in the first place. I wished for the guy that would be the bar by which all others would be measured. I learned quickly however that the few guys who entered my life in this capacity would be the very guys that I would end up having to protect myself against after all. I never did have this kind of friendship with any guy during my life but instead, I fell in love with my beloved and he's more than anything I ever dreamed up in my younger days.

Secondly, I couldn't help but notice that almost all of my most upsetting dreams occur near water. When we were in Australia, I had an especially bothersome dream that also involved being on the water. That was the last really sad dream that I had and I remember the remnants of it lingering for days on end. All of my subconscious sadness seems to happen by the water's edge and I can't seem to let go of trying to figure out why. I love the water and would spend my life within arms reach of it at all times if I had my way and yet...when my eyes are closed and my mind is lost, more tears seemed to be shed there than anywhere else. It's so unlike my usual emotions in the presence of water.

I know that dreams don't mean everything but I believe that they do mean something. In the deepest and darkest recesses of our mind, our thoughts come to life when we least expect it. I seemed to have settled down now from my rattled night in the row boat but I wish I understood why some dreams feel even larger than life...why some moments are heart wrenching even in sleep...and why some water just seems hurt more than others.

cag ah

How Dreams Mix With Real Life

2008-12-18T08:41:00.000+07:00

I dreamt that I had a conversation with Barry Meyer. I hadn’t seen him in years. His face looked just like I remembered it—boyish and bright, hair combed neatly. I noticed that he had grown. I felt short, looking up at his face at the top of a tall body. He was at least a foot taller than I remembered him, with a confidence that matched his height. He created a strong visual image.

Barry committed suicide in 1981, when we were both sophomores in college. So I asked him how things were in heaven. He was non-committal, which I took to mean that I would find out for myself.

My high school girlfriends, who also were friends with Barry, were with me in the dream. They were surprised and shocked to see him. They gathered around him. One of my friends, normally shy and reserved, kissed him on the cheek, as a way of welcoming him.

And yet the moment was fleeting. Barry was gone as quickly as he appeared. To which another friend, lamented that it wasn’t fair—there was nothing to hold on to. I responded without hesitation that Barry was still here, in the air surrounding us.

I knew this from my experience with Ilene, who died just two years ago, in 2006. While I miss Ilene, I don’t yearn for her. Since her death of ALS, she’s been just a few planes away, in a dimension that I could not see or hear concretely but could clearly sense.

Ilene pops up in a song that I hear on the radio, in a favorite quote that I send to a client, and yes, sometimes in my dreams. She had a quirky sense of humor. I was not surprised that in a dream several months ago, I looked at her and told her how lucky she was to be dead. I then explained, “I keep getting older. But you, everyone will always think of you as the same age.” It was pure Ilene.

Sometimes, dreams inform me of my fears. Several weeks ago, in a dream, I found myself working as an employee at a large company. I wondered how I had gotten into that situation. It was a nightmare. Some people worry about losing their job. I worry about having one.

Dreams tell me about my identity. This dream was an indication of how far I’d gone down the road as a solopreneur, working for myself, with all the benefits, risks, and freedoms. Mostly, at this point, it feels like benefit and freedom with very little risk.

I have lots of dreams where I’m trying to achieve something. It’s not Sisyphus, pushing the rock up the hill. Rather it’s the US in Iraq, where it takes time and patience and an alternate way of thinking to make progress. The picture is complex. Dreams allow me to play out at night what daytime can feel like.

Dreams help me resolve my own life issues. A decade ago, I was in my thirties, in therapy and excavating everything that had been baked inside of me during my childhood. I had a dream about my father, who died when I was thirteen. The ensuing decades had frozen our relationship as child to parent. We didn't have the chance to develop a relationship as two adults.

In my dream, I approached my father in the kitchen, who stood on a step stool, putting dishes away in a cabinet. He turned around and addressed me with the demeanor of one adult to another, not as a parent talking to a child. He saw me for who I was, a grown up woman with a responsible career and a family of my own. I made peace with dad in that dream. I knew it during the dream and when I woke up.

What have you been dreaming about? And how is it informing you in your life?

cag ah

Working title

2008-12-16T12:25:00.000+07:00

Every so often I'll here a song or lyrics which remind me of a certain person, event or time in my life. I could be thinking or doing something completely different and those tunes take me back to a different time or place. Its the same way with smells. Certain smells tend to light off very vivid day dreams.

Anyways, earlier today it was Devil Went down to Georgia. Normally it reminds me of Bridget and the Diner, strangely enough it reminded me of a dream I had a few months ago. I was sitting on my couch in my old apartment, well my old apartment on the inside, an unknown apartment on the outside. Must of gotten that part from a movie or something, but anyways.

I hear a doorbell ring and when I open the door, Bridget is standing there with a bunch of boxes and if I remember my dream correctly, she said something to the effect of "everything went wrong, can I move in with you?"

It was just weird that I remembered that dream again. I had to call her and tell her about it the day after that dream. It was out of the ordinary for me and I guess I figured she should know she was invading my dreams. She is one friend who is more then welcome in my dreams anyway she wishes.

As I sit here and type this, my iTunes is on shuffle and it brought up another song that always brings back fun memories of my 2003 cruise on the Nimitz. We had kind of an unofficial song, so much so that we had "Navy" themed lyrics to go with it. I wonder if somebody still remembers those. I don't. The song itself was funny, more so because "Because I got High" is just counter to the Navys "Zero Tolerance" policy which just made it funnier to me.

On a completely different note, I've slowly been making some changes to my main site www.mysnafu.com. I've started to clear out the junk and streamline it. I haven't decided what I'm actually going to keep. I haven't gotten the traffic back since I relocated URL's. I guess my name actually attracted a lot of people. I do plan on putting the photo albums up soon. I just haven't decided how I'm going to do it yet. Lots of options on that front. My roommate has also gotten me interested in podcasts and I'm toying with the idea of created my own. Biggest thing with a podcast is having something to talk about. Most everything I type is random. Mostly to keep the thoughts from dancing around in my head.

cag ah

The meaning of dreams

2008-12-14T12:18:00.000+07:00

I am postponing the second half of the food meme to write about a dream that I had this past week.

I thought I would not share the dream but this morning I awoke with the feeling that I dreamt of my Mum again and I decided I should write down the dream I had earlier this week in which she had played an important role.

So in my dream I went to our local new library. I think I was returning books, but I'm not sure. I went into the building and was surprised to see that it was empty and no one was there. I turned around and my Mum was standing there in front of me! I remember feeling surprised and happy to see her.

She told me that they had closed down the library. She went on to say that she wanted to use her money to build a mother-in-law addition to my home. I said sure that sounds great and then off she went walking through the lawn next to the library and then over a hill. As I left the library I was buzzed by a hummingbird. It actually grazed my hair. Then my dream was over.

When I awoke it felt like she had visited me, what a nice feeling.

Any insight?

Peace!

cag ah

God speaks

2008-12-12T00:31:00.000+07:00

This post will be more of a question, than any type of answer really. It’s something I struggle with alot in my life. I am wondering if anyone has input on this subject.

About 8 months ago, you could say I was a Christian but walking around with alot of anger and bitterness. I didn’t really pray, but I did believe in God. I just didn’t undestand Him at all. I would go back and forth with Him. What I mean by that is, I would sometimes pray and read my Bible and “do Christianity”. I basically was just doing what I had been told all my life about being a Christian. There was no sincere heart-felt worship or thanks in what I was doing. Then there were times when I’d sin or someone would hurt me deeply, and I’d isolate myself from God thinking He was ashamed of me, or that He didn’t love me. I still battle with these horrible feelings from time to time, but my relationship with God has changed A LOT! I’ll talk about that later though.

Basically I say all this because it was during a time where I wasn’t “doing Christianity” that I had a dream. It was a dream that would change how I looked at God. It was a dream that involved my past. In my dream, I was making ammends for the past. It was so vivid and real and I woke up crying. Parts of the dream were recollections of things that really happened to me when I was 11 years old. Other parts of it were me, as an adult, forgiving. I saw my childhood home, which we were evicted from, but I was an adult and I was smiling as I saw the house, even though in reality that house reminded me of all the things that went wrong with my childhood–my dad died there, my cat ran away (this was tramatic to me as an 11 year old), we lost all we had…and later, my brother would commit suicide, I think as a result of these experiences.

Ok, so I tell you this to lead up to my point. Can God really speak to us if we are in sin? Someone told me God can’t be in the presence of sin. Another person has told me, although I can’t biblically back it up, that God doesn’t pursue us. What about the parable of the lost sheep? In my life, I felt lost. I didn’t know where to turn. I felt God had abandoned me, like so many other people had. But in the next week, I took that dream as a Word from God that I needed to deal with my past. A friend and I went up to see my old house. We talked through memories–good and bad. We took some pictures. We visited my dad’s grave and my brother’s grave. And I felt God’s love just pour over me. It’s hard to explain without sounding totally crazy. But that is what I felt. And I changed that day.

Since then I’ve had some other dreams, not quite as vivid, but I wonder “Is that you God?” So how does one know what is God and what is not God? Most often my dreams convict me of something. It’s not like I’m predicting future events or something. But I’ve always been able to remember my dreams and they usually stick with me pretty well…so can it be that God speaks to me this way?

The other night I had another dream about adoption…and in it, God provided money we needed to adopt. I wondered it that was my own “thinking” or God’s. Was it a dream of what God was going to do?

Anyway, I get confused about God in this area. If anyone can shed some light (and Bible verses) on the subject, that would be great. Thanks!

cag ah

Carlsberg launches Web-TV channel about football and fan life

2008-12-11T10:29:00.003+07:00

Recently Carlsberg Brewery launched a football web TV channel called www.partofthegame.tv.

Partofthegame.tv launched 5 channels showing all aspects about football from the classic football matches to life as a fan.

Be sure not to miss the video clips about football funnies and rituals from the Football Magic channel or the bizarre story about fans in the stand and how fan culture sometimes go beyond reason.

As an extra feature Carlsberg web-TV allowed you to upload your own favourite football and fan moments.

Don't come near me with that zucchini!

2008-12-10T00:01:00.000+07:00

it's raining here in florida. scratch that. it's coming down so hard that the pounding rain woke me up. i was kind of glad to be startled out of my sleep because i was having the worst dream ever.

i dreamt i killed my grandmother---with a piece of zucchini. i beat her to death with it. don't laugh. this isn't funny.

after i bludgened her to death with the vegetable (by the way, i'll never be able to eat zucchini and feel good about it again) i fled the scene and drove home. it's not clear where i was when i did the killing, but i ended up at home just in time to watch ace of cakes on the food network. in my dream i was very concerned about missing the show. yep, apparently killing my favorite relative came second to missing my favorite food network program.

side note: dad, you know you're my favorite MALE relative. mimi is my favorite OVERALL relative. good luck when the new poll comes out next week. maybe you'll make the cut.

so anyway, back to my dream. i'm watching ace of cakes and my mom calls and screams, "mimi's dead! someone has killed her!"

the woman was hysterical...and she was interrupting my show. i hit the pause button on my remote.

"mom!" i yelled back in the receiver, "it's ok. i'm the one who did it. she was getting so annoying--what with her inability to hear and all. she refused (REFUSED!) to put in her hearing aids, saying something about them being uncomfortable or some shit like that. i just lost it. i'm so sorry. she was old, mom. she had a good run. it was time."

in my dream my mom stopped screaming then and said, "oh, well if it was a family member that did it then i guess it's ok. shoot. i already called the police. they'll be here any minute. you better come back and explain what happened."

before i could tell her i was too busy to deal with all that my front door burst open and cagney and lacey were standing in the doorway, yelling, "ok you freak, come out with your hands up!"

i turned around and said, "i'll be there in a minute. i have to see if chef duff gets the linda blair exorcist cake finished in time for the big halloween party."

and then the sound of the rain woke me up.

shheeewwwww. i'm glad that was just a dream. that's the last time i eat pumpkin pie in bed right before i go to sleep. who knew pumpkins give you nightmares? and the bigger question: are cagney and lacey still alive?

now the rain has stopped now. dammit. i was hoping it would rain all morning so i would have an excuse for not exercising. i haven't been to the gym or gone jogging in a week. apparently i took the holiday week off. what i didn't do though was take the week off from pigging out.

you should see my ass.

talk about horrifying.

maybe the rain will start back up again just in time for me to eat my thanksgiving meal breakfast. do not turn your nose up at the idea of turkey and dressing in the morning. don't knock it until you've tried it. it rocks. hey, wouldn't turkey and dressing in the morning be a great radio show? i could be turkey and i'd say, "good morning everybody. you're listening to turkey and dressing in the morning right here on KSUX." it could so happen. no. one. steal. my. idea. k?

in the meantime, let's play a little game. and for those of you who have played this recently, just suck it up and play again. (i never said i was original--all good ideas are stolen)

let's see how many people we have do this. come on all you lookey loos who've never commented before. i know you're out there. i can even tell you what city you live in. i have connections--or sitemeter.

anyway, this is fun and doesn't require any original thought. so everyone can play!

here's what you do. grab a book. any book. the closest one to you will work beautifully. turn to page 86. go to the 13th sentence and copy it on here.

i'll start.

"i don't fish," she said. "i'm jewish. we're not a fishing people."

see? fun.

now it's your turn.

and, GO!

cag ah

Do the Color of Your Dreams Mean Anything?

2008-12-08T12:03:00.000+07:00

People always ask me where I come up with my ideas for my books. I get a lot of strange looks when I tell them most of my plots are created on dreams.

When I dream in color one time, it’s mostly a Déjà vu moment. Sounds strange so let me explain. Color dreams actually transport me to a time where I know the people acting in them, although I’ve never met them. Right down to knowing their names, their status in society, their occupation – and most of them in a different time and era. A time I’m really cemented in during my dream. It makes me wonder if I’ve lived during that time, because no one’s a stranger. (I know, I know, AM knows no strangers. lol) In a lot of those dreams, I’m transported back to the Civil War era. Strange, but I’m probably not alone. Geez, maybe I should be writing Historical romances instead of Romantic Suspense and Sassy Sensual. lol

When I dream in color and 3-dimensional, three of the same dream in a row, the dream actually happens – I mean they really come true. It’s really quite scary. In these dreams, I can see the future and that unconscious play hasn’t been wrong many times. I remember one of the scariest. I was young, maybe ten or eleven, I dreamt my Uncle Augustana (August for short), who had recently come here from my family’s home country of Germany, died in a car crash. The morning after the third dream, I was getting ready for school and eating breakfast, the radio news broadcast broke in from their regularly scheduled segment to bring breaking news that August Kirschensteinersteinagel had been killed in an automobile crash. Might I add, the family hadn’t been notified yet of his accident. From that moment on, I stood up and took notice of all my color dreams, and especially those in which I dreamt three times.

You’re probably asking “Where is Anne-Marie going with this.” It’s simple. When I dream in black and white, it’s a movie reel twirling around in my subconscious of my next book idea. Usually my black and white dreams take place over several days. Mostly because when I’m starting to get into them, I wake up and race to the computer to get my dreams on screen and not just the screen in my mind. This dream will continue over a period of time, or until I have the book plotted out. Mind you, with bunches of plot holes that either another dream will clear up or I’ll get a conscious ah-ha moment or help from my friends. (Are you ready to put me in a straight jacket yet? lol) Shoot, I’ve even helped writers I crit or plot with to expand their plots through my dreams.

When I dream a combination of color, and black & white, they’re just dreams. Yes, thank God, AM has normal dreams, too. That is if you want to call a combination of color and black & white normal.

No matter the type of dream, I hardly ever go back to sleep. Needless to say, Anne-Marie doesn’t get much sleep.

How about you? Do you dream in color, black and white, or a combination? Are they a moment of Déjà vu? Do your dreams have any meaning? What is your weirdest dream? Please don’t let me stand on this weird dream island alone.

cag ah

Does anyone else dream like this?

2008-12-06T11:59:00.000+07:00

Before you go off to sleep, do you ever see images of rooms, landscapes or other scenes?

That was a Q from a quiz I took. It got me to thinking and wondering. I have always remembered my dreams from the night before just as I drift off to sleep. I remember the feelings, the sites, the not quite real aspect of it and sometines sounds and conversations. And this is an every night thing. Do any of the rest of you do this?

And since we are on the topic, my surroundings in my dreams are always cluttered and not quite right. Like there is usually a room but never 4 walls, one is always missing and usually it is just the outdoors there. Not something fab like a waterfall but a parking lot or a yard or the front of the school. And the cluttered feel is hard to describe. Its almost like watching Friends, How the girls apt. is clean but cluttered but you can't really single any of the items out. But my dreams are not as colorful with the mess, more gray in those areas. There are usually certain items in the dreams that I can single out, it's the background that is the cluttered, and undefinable areas.

cag ah

SiX TeChNiQuEs FoR ReMeMbEriNg DrEaMs by: DaYnA DaViS

2008-12-04T11:05:00.000+07:00

Even though I remember a lot of my dreams, I tend to get hung up on the ones I don’t remember. I’ll sit up in my bed, trying my best to remember what I dreamt before it fades away. Sometimes I’m able to recall parts of the dream, but as much as I try, I just can’t remember all of it.

We dream about every hour and a half and the longest dreams last from thirty to forty-five minutes. One would think that so many dreams unfolding each time we sleep would leave a more lasting impression. So why don’t they? They can—if you’re willing to do a little work. If you want to tap into your subconscious and start recalling your dreams, these tips will help get you started.

1. Keep a Dream Journal

Writing our dreams down as soon as we wake is one of the best ways to remember them; it also helps us decipher them since we’re able to reference them at any time. Craig Hamilton-Parker suggests an experiment for remembering our dreams in his book, The Hidden Meaning of Dreams. Hamilton-Parker recommends investing in a long-lasting, hardcover blank book and resolving to enter at least one dream in it every night for an entire month. Once you’ve got your journal, he suggests drawing a line down the middle of the page; on the left side of the line, write your dream. On the right side, give your interpretation of it.

When writing down your dreams, don’t worry about grammar, punctuation, or the sequence of events. Concentrate on getting it all on paper as fast as you can before it fades away.When the month is up, look back through your dreams. You’ll be amazed at what you remembered and you’ll have a lot more insight into what’s influencing your dreams.

2. Give Your Dreams a Title

If you wake up and don’t have time to journal, create a title for your dream and write that down instead. You should title dreams in your dream journal anyway, but this can be an effective way of remembering aspects of your dream without journaling right away.Use the title of your dream as often as you can throughout the day, whether you’re telling others about it or just trying to remember more details. When you have time to go back, expand on the title as much as you can. This could give you more clues into what you dreamed.

3. Use Pictures Instead of Words

If the idea of journaling all your dreams is intimidating, try drawing them. If you’re better at images than words, this might be the best technique for you. Buy a sketchbook and keep it by your bed with a pencil nearby. When you wake up, draw images you saw in your dreams. They don’t have to be masterpieces of art, just stick figures or colors you remember.Once you get all the images down, go back and try to connect them to reconstruct your dream. If you have time later on, look up the images in a dream journal to see what they might mean.

4. Create a Map

Have you ever seen one of those mind maps with all the bubbles connected to one another and words inside each bubble? That’s what this technique is all about. If you dream about running down a windy canyon road, but the only thing you really remember is the canyon, write the word “canyon” in a bubble, then start branching off and drawing other bubbles off of that. One of the bubbles can have the word “road” and one “running.” The more you remember about each part of the dream, the more bubbles you can add. Once you get it all mapped out, you may be surprised at how much you actually remember. By zeroing in on key words and not worrying about the sequence or plot, you may be able to fill in the gaps of your fuzzy dream.

5. Wake Yourself Up

In 1955, Eugene Aserinsky and Nathan Kleitman published a paper about rapid eye movements, or the REM phase of sleep. They found that REM sleep takes up about 20 percent of our nightly sleep and that dreams in this phase of sleep are some of the easiest ones to remember.Try waking yourself up at different times of the night to remember more dreams. Set an alarm for early in the morning and when it goes off, challenge yourself to remember what you were dreaming.Or, drink a glass of water before you go to bed. When you wake up to use the bathroom, see if you remember what you were dreaming. Once you get a feel for what time is the best for dream catching, you can make it a regular thing.

6. Get Yourself in the Right Mind Set

Before going to bed, say aloud, “I will remember my dreams tonight.” When you wake up, lay still in bed for a couple of minutes, eyes closed, and try to remember. Once you start remembering, sit still a little longer and try to reach for more. To get yourself motivated to remember dreams, it may also be helpful to read a dream book before going to bed.

We all dream every night; we just don’t always remember them. If we make a conscious decision to remember our dreams and try a few new techniques, we’re bound to get a little closer to our own dream worlds.

cag ah

I'll let you be in my dream, if I can be in yours

2008-12-02T11:08:00.000+07:00

As I've said before, this online community is mighty mighty. The other day at the tavern, Spocko told me of a lovely dream he'd had. It is a gift he gave to me.

ina

I dreamt last night that I was driving on the highway to a wide open place that held hot air balloon races and small plane races.

On the way to the place I saw a white 2 seat plane in front of me on the highway trying to take off. It went up about 4 feet then crashed. I had passed it and saw it crash in my rear view mirror. I was going to stop, but I saw others had already stopped so I kept driving down the road.

I came to your house. Your house was a 3 bedroom single story house that was in the middle of the open area (it was kind of desert like). The house was painted with lots of white and light orange colors almost a pastel orange.

I looked out the window and saw some of the balloons already up in the air and few small planes flying. Also there were a few that were crashed on the ground.

I noticed a basket of Christmas cards in the a bay window area and read some of the comments. They were from famous people who had stayed at your house for the balloon and plane races. The cards were from Mick Jagger, Bono, a Prime Minister and some other famous politicians. They had some personal comments on them thanking you for your hospitality.

I thought to myself. "Wow, ina knows lots of famous people! I'm in good company getting to stay at her house for the hot-air balloon races.

I'm not sure what this dream means.

I just finished reading Tim Powers book Three Days to Never and I think some of the scenes in the dream are taken from there, but why you, your house and your Christmas cards from famous people were part of the dream I don't know. Oh, and I never saw you or your kids in the dream, I just knew that it was your house.

"It's good to see you."

"It's good to be seen."

cag ah

The Girl Who Wished She Was Irish

2008-11-30T10:20:00.000+07:00

I had one of my strange dreams last night.

This is how it went.

Tim, Jack, and I are taking a walk.

We're then suddenly in this office building. A man comes by and walks in the same direction as us. He keeps looking at me with a smile on his face. It's not the type of smile that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. There's something untrustworthy about the smile. My guard goes up....way up.

He asks me if I have an agent.

If I had high self-esteem, I'd probably be flattered and excited. Instead, for the most part I'm weary and suspicious.

Somehow I end up in a boardroom with him. Tim and Jack are no longer in the picture.

My immediate assumption is that this is an agency for models. There is a small part of me that wishes I actually was model-material and all of this was legit. But I know I don't have the right body for it. There's no way. I'm thinking this is one of those horrible businesses where they sign you up for modeling and you end up a prostitute.

But then the man mentions blogs.

Since when does a blog need an agent?

I still think it's all a scam.

The man takes out a folded piece of paper. He mentions that my blog is about International Travel. For the first time, I'm excited. I start to think that maybe this whole thing is legit. Maybe this man read my blog, printed out a page of it, and then recognized me when I came into the office. I believe that piece of paper is a print out of a page from my blog--proof that this guy actually knows me and finds me talented.

He hands it to me. I unfold the paper and find that it's no more authentic than a scam letter from a prince in Nigeria. There's absolutely no indication that these people have actually read my blog. It seems it was all just random. He's a conman and I'm his mark.

Then a woman is in the room too. She seems to be the boss of the man. She has a huge bugar in her nose. I stare at her. She says something like It's a waste of time to pick your nose. I think what she's getting at is why get rid of bugars? Another one will just appear. (I'm sure there's deep symbolism there somewhere).

It becomes a bit like bad cop and good cop. The man is cheerful and encouraging. The woman is downright pushy and mean. She starts making threats. I can join their team by choice and be happy, or they can make my life miserable.

I'm not sure exactly how I react to all of this. I think I decide to lie. It seems my plan is to give them a false lead of where my blog is, get out of there, and hope they never find me.

At some point, they ask if my blog is about Hispanic culture. I lie and say yes. Later though I say I lied. It's not about that. I decide to tell them it's about a country, but decide I should give them the wrong country. I think for a moment and then say it's about Ireland. I start trying to imitate an Irish accent. I make the mistake of starting with g'day.

The woman looks at me very suspicious. G'day is not Irish.

I meant good day. And then I add something stereotypically Irish like Top of the morning to you.

Before escaping, I also sprinkle a few laddies here and there. I start to actually enjoy the lying and that makes me uncomfortable. I don't like dishonesty. I shouldn't be having fun with this.

For some reason, I now have all my notebooks and stuff scattered on the table. I rush to try and put them back in my bag--scared there will be something Australian on them. The woman tries going through my backpack. I tell her I think that's illegal--to go through someone's stuff without permission. She backs off.

I get my stuff together and start to head out. Often when I leave a place, I get my keys out and have them ready in my hand. It makes me feel more secure for some reason. I'm about to do that, but then remember that I have a I heart Australia keychain. That would totally give me away.

Later, I had a dream within a dream type sequence. I sit at the kitchen table with Tim and another man trying to tell them my dream. The other man is incredibly rude to me. He tells me he doesn't want to hear the dream. He hates hearing dreams. I argue with him, and he says he'll give me a few minutes and that's it. I have no plans of shutting up. I start telling the dream to them. Then I notice that across from all of us is Thao Penglis from Days of our Lives. He's listening to my dream and actually seems interested and amused by it.

I have no idea what all that means.

Another bizarre dream from last night: The whole right side of my mouth is falling apart. It's like the gums have turned into flaps. There's this disgusting green stuff behind them. It kind of looks like broccoli, but I'm figuring it's a part of my body that's gone bad. Later though , I realize it is broccoli and all I have to do is pick it out. It's a bit painful to do that though and I kind of dread it. When I finally go to do it, the broccoli is miraculously gone. In it's place...in my mouth....is a bookshelf with books. You lift a flap in my mouth and there's a whole damn bookshelf. The funny thing is I saw nothing weird or unusual about it. I saw it as being perfectly normal.

(dina)

cag ah

My dream last night still weirds me out

2008-11-28T00:42:00.000+07:00

I don’t usually dream — at least nothing I can remember. But when I do, the dreams are invariably weird. Not so much for their content as for the complete conviction, while I am dreaming, that this is real — it’s actually happening — but not only that, I am equally aware (while I am dreaming) that I have a waking life, and that that waking life is false. Also, my dreams are usually just fragments, as if I suddenly broke into my “real” life in mid-happening, I’m me, but I usually don’t remember any specifics of who I am in my dream when I wake up. (I’m just “me” — I just don’t know who “me” is. It could be me, as I am really, or “me” as I am “really.” Confused enough?)

Anyway, in my dream last night this time I am suddenly looking up into the night sky because a very bright, lightning-like formation has broken across it. But the formation isn’t so fast that I can’t tell that it’s not lightning — it’s something else, a gigantic structure of some sort. I’m standing outside somewhere near a swampy area that is also near buildings — something like the neighborhood near where I used to live in in Miami, out in the west part where Tamiami Trail continued on past Sweetwater and a cement factory and on into the undeveloped land next to the Everglades, from about SW 112 Avenue to Krome Avenue. (That area has since been built up, I believe.) At the time there was an apartment or condo complex and a housing development on 112 Avenue, and then the homes petered out into flat lands that were mostly lots full of nothing but grass and stands of melaleuca and Australian pines.

Anyway, the landscape in my dream was sort of like that. I was standing outside one of the condos, staring up at the structure, which was oblong in shape, and could only be seen when something like lightning ran across it in a kind of zigzag. My first thought was “that’s an alien space ship, and it’s going to crash. That light is either something hitting it, or it’s own sort of distress lights.” I am vaguely aware of some people around me, the people of the community, all as shocked and worried as I am. And stranger still, we all know what the ship is, who it belonged to — there’s some sort of recent history involving aliens which had been the main worry in recent times leading up to this, and these events were somehow expected.

Anyway, the structure slid across the sky as a barely-perceptable shadow, and then the lights ran across it again, and we realized it was closer to the earth and also farther to the west. I had the perception that is was going to land in the sea on the other side of the land, and that the sea was far away like the Gulf, but not so far away that this was not going to be a disaster for all of us standing there. I started to turn away, realizing that it surely was going to crash any minute. An interval of time passed — not very long — as I made my way back through the crowd, which was just starting to panic. I was thinking of my cats. I didn’t think I could take my cats with me as I fled — I remember clearly thinking that the electromagnetic pulse would surely knock out all the electricity for miles around, which meant my car wouldn’t work, which meant that even if I did manage to drive some ways before the pulse reached us, meant I would end up having to walk, and my cats were indoor cats — they couldn’t walk with me and I had nothing to carry them with. I was thinking of just leaving the cat food bag open, and filling all my bowls with water, and trying not to realize that the cats would probably end up dying anyway, from the force of the blast if nothing else. And in fact, I doubted I would survive.

Then there was a low but heart-stopping “boom” and I turned involuntarily to see that the entire sky had gone pearl white. Then I saw the vast, grey-white (I remember the two different shades of white very distinctly) cloud of the blast, rather oval shaped instead of round, coming towards us from the west.

Then I woke up.

cag ah

In love with some guy in my dream?

2008-11-26T09:10:00.000+07:00

Hmm, this is going to sound really weird and possibly rather stupid but here goes...
I had this strange dream last night which was really jumbled up and I can (like most dreams) only remember certain parts of it. Basically, I met this guy who I immediatly fell in love with. He was perfect and he loved me back. We dated for a while and then I went on holiday with my family on a cruise ship. Then my holiday pretty much turned into Titanic Yeah, the ship started to sink... Then I was rescued and was so happy to see my 'true love' again and I was crying in his arms etc.
I hated this dream (spose you could call it a nightmare then). I was watching people killing themselves, just jumping into the water to drown. I remember seeing a family jump in together with 2 or 3 little kids. However, I didn't want this dream to end because I was in love with this guy and if I woke up, I'd never see him again.
Now I just don't know what's wrong with me. I can't stop thinking about this guy from my dream. I can hardly even remember what he looks like - he has brown hair and I think that's all I can remember of his appearance but I can't get him out of my head! I've never felt like this before - spesh over a person I don't even know
(Would be great if it meant some amazing guy is about to come into my life )
Anyway - any ideas on how to get him out of my head?! Why am I feeling like this all of a sudden? (I'm only 15 for crying out loud!)

Dreams and Palm Reading

2008-11-24T03:13:00.000+07:00

I didn't use to put much reliance on dreams and signs. But this year has changed that. I have had intense dreams that correctly predicted critical events, such as who my bone marrow transplant (bmt) donor & matches would be. The good news is that all the signs point to one end result- getting past this leukemia experience. Whether you believe in dreams or not, my recent ones are fairly entertaining- there's violence, romance, lots of horse back riding, and more.

11/16/ 2008 (Sat night before going to hospital for fever)

Extremely violent, but uplifting, dream.

It was around the time period that American settlers were staking out land. My partner (husband/ boyfriend?) and I rode out on horses to my parents' land with the intention of settling down there. My parents weren’t my real parents, & my husband wasn’t Thuan. He was tall, Caucasian, blondish- brown hair (like my hair color now). The land was really beautiful, rugged wilderness, kind of like Alaska but closer to the East Coast, ie Montana. When we arrived, however, he decided to abandon me & leave me deserted out there. Somehow we got into a physical fight with pool cues. He had one with a broken off end, rendering it shorter but sharper. I had an intact one. I ended up stabbing his eyes out & realized that now he was the one who was in trouble because he was no longer welcome on my parents' land & needed to make his way back blind. Despite the grossness of my dream, I woke up happy, feeling that whatever unexpected, adverse situation was put my way (ie relapse/ medical complication), I could fight it & win. That night I had my blood drawn & it turned out my liver numbers had tripled. We are still waiting to hear what my Hopkins doctor wants to do about this. My dream gives me confidence that my liver will recover.

11/13/08

Palm reading, not a dream. While talking to a classmate from Pakistan (coincidentally, his wife is a 10 year AML survivor) about exam strategies, he told me he had something he really wanted to tell me when we finished. Turns out he’d been eyeing my hand & had noticed that I have a long, clear life line. He assured me I’d live into my early 80s. He also said family would become increasingly important to me, that I am cautious socially, that I will travel a great deal & may settle down overseas (perhaps I already did that?). He said he thought I’d have 2 kids but wasn’t really sure. Finally, he said my hands indicate I have a good sense of intuition.

Early Nov. 2008

I woke up feeling there was something I had to do to help others fight leukemia. I wasn’t sure if it was law related or something else.

September 2008.

FS & I were really excited that I was pregnant. Unfortunately, I gave birth to a very, very small child & realized the child would die. I know this sounds awful but in my dream I didn't mind because I knew I would have a chance to try again to have another baby. I woke up happy, sensing that something bad (ie, infertility, relapse, or other serious medical complication) was happening/ had happened/ would happen to my body, but I would have a chance to do things all over & would be successful next time.

Dream in late Aug 2008 (shortly before deciding to apply for judicial clerkships)

I was told that I was cured of leukemia & when I woke up I felt I could start planning a future again.

Dream while staying in Baltimore (1-2 months post-transplant)

I dreamed FarrahSophia was 7 years old & we were living next to Golden Gate Park in SF. All of a sudden the horse stables called us to let us know that they finally had a spot open (in real life, Thuan & I had put our names down on a waitlist many years ago but I haven't given any thought to it since) but we had to fill it within 10 days. I jumped into action calling Aunt Marilyn, who breeds horses, to help me find a horse & bring it up for FS & me to share. It was a nice dream & made me think that I would live to see FS be 7 yrs old, which would put me past the most risky relapse period.

Late January/ Early Feb 2008

It was an intense dream involving my eldest brother Paul & butterflies. I remembered it clearly when I woke up but have forgotten it since. I was very surprised to dream of Paul because we had never been particularly close since he went to boarding school when I was 7. Shortly after I woke from this dream, Dr. Cross, one of my oncologists when I was receiving chemo at Washington Hospital Center, came into my hospital room early in the morning to tell me I had bad cytogenetics, something the doctors hadn’t expected due to my age, and would need a BMT. While crying, I couldn’t help but think Paul would be my donor. My conviction that Paul would be my donor remained even after I had a dream about a week or so later that Kathy was a perfect match, which ended up being true also. The whole time I waited to learn if I had any sibling matches for a BMT, I felt pretty confident that the results would be good. In contrast, I had had a sense of dread when I waited for the cytogenetic results.

cag ah

Selling your boat at your dream price

2008-11-22T20:55:00.002+07:00

OK you have decided its time to sell your boat, now what? Hang a sign up and hope for the best? Hire a broker? Place an add in the local paper? You have many choices but the first should be to get the boat in prime selling condition.

The longer it takes to sell your boat the more you are going to spend trying to sell her and keeping her in tiptop condition. You also want to get the best price possible; you do not want a lot of little problems to drive the price down just as you are closing the sale.

There are many deals go south for reasons that easily could have been avoided. There is nothing worse than having a buyer with check in hand back out because of a small problem that looked big or several small problems making the boats for sale appear to be a lemon.

In the old days a buyer looking for a boat would visit all the local yards within diving distance. This limited what was available and left little for comparison. Today’s buyer is just as likely to start their search on the internet. They will look at many used boats to compare prices, condition, and equipment carefully. They will be much more informed and educated about a particular boat than ever. This is why you the seller must be equally prepared when presenting your boat for inspection.

You have seen the reality TV shows about how to “flip” a house for profit. Many of the tricks the sellers use on these shows are similar for boats. The primary difference between a house and a boat is location. You know the old real estate saying “location, location, location.” ??? Unless you are selling a slip with your boat location is not a big factor.

Looks, looks, looks, are what is most important with used boats for sale. Frequently, the very first boat people ever bought they bought mainly because they fell in love with her at first sight. When they sold that boat the buyer said he too had fallen in love with her at first sight.

The following is a list of things that will help your buyer fall in love with your boat and pay the price you want.

1. First impressions.

Looks are important so make the most of them. Before hanging up that “For Sale” sign make sure your boat is clean and shiny. Have the topsides and deck compounded and waxed to bring out the shine. Polish the metal and add a fresh coat of varnish or oil to any woodwork, touch up any paint that needs it. Replace any worn carpet or sun faded curtains. Remove or replace any worn or old canvas. Your better off not having faded and worn canvas on at all then to have it make your boat look old and worn.

Replace old frayed dock lines and fenders, this will give the impression the boat is well carded for. Remove personal photos, you want the buyer to think of this as his boat not yours. You can leave a couple of small photos of your happy family using the boat to show the fun you have had, and give the buyer a positive image. Remove those cute plaques with the funny sayings, they are a distraction and a buyer may not find them as funny as you do. Clean out the frig and food lockers. Put baking soda in the food lockers and frig to remove any odors. Do not forget to clean out the ice maker an bait freezer if you have them. Set the table as if you are getting ready for an elegant dinner. Make the boat look attractive and ready to use but not cluttered.

2. Archaeology or Digging deeper.

Clean out all the lockers, remove all personal belongings. Lockers always look bigger when empty, but look small when filled. You want the buyer to think there is a lot of storage for all his stuff. Leave just what you are selling with the boat and what is needed for normal operation. The new buyer is not interested in that 300’ spool of ¾” hemp you have as a spare anchor rode. It is by far better to present a neat orderly boat then one with a lot of extra “stuff.” If you are still using the boat keep the personal belongings to a minimum. Now that the lockers are cleaned out giving them a good coat of fresh white paint will make them look even bigger. Make sure the engine compartment is clean and orderly. Touch up the paint on the engines and clean any oil or grime. Place new oil sorbs under the engines. Clean and paint the bilges. Secure any loose or hanging wires and hoses. As mentioned above clean out all of the galley lockers, refrigerators, and freezers. Clean the stove and remove any extra appliances like blenders and toaster ovens. These items add little to the value of the boat and make the galley look smaller and cluttered. Clean out the head compartments. This is one are you really want to shine.

If the buyers wife walks into a smelly nasty head the sale may be over. Remove the soggy rolls of TP from the back corners of the lockers; clean all traces of mold and dirt. Make sure it does not look or smell like the inside of a gas station bathroom of I-95.

3. What’s that smell?
No kidding there are people who have sold their boats because their wives said it smelled funny. The one thing you do not want is for the prospective buyer to ask what’s that smell when they enter the boat. If your boat has any funk going on you need to find the source and get rid of it. Keep the holding tank cleaned out and add deodorant. If your head uses salt water for flushing shut off the intake and flush several times with fresh water. Make sure the bilge is clean and fresh, flush out the shower sump and add one of those non-colored toilet bowel cleaner tablets to your bilge.. A general dosing with Febreze may help. Air the boat out often, and make sure its dry inside. Fix any deck leaks that may be allowing water in. Once again empty lockers do not smell but ones filled with wet rope do! Place dryer sheets in lockers and clean up any mildew or mold.

4. It worked last summer.
You are cleaned up looking and smelling good the buyer is impressed, time for the sea trial you turn the key and nothing. Well it ran last summer. You may have just lost the sale. It never ceases to surprise how often things do not work. Dead batteries, stuck solenoids, clogged fuel filters, these all can cause a buyer to walk. Before the buyer arrives turn everything on and make sure it works as it’s supposed to. Go down to the boat once a week or so and start the engines, run pumps, turn on lights, make a list of things that do not work and get them fixed. Check the batteries and make sure they hold a charge. Check all engine fluids. Fill the water tank. Turn on all the lights, blow the horn, and turn on that blender you have never used. Pretend you are a buyer yourself and test everything.

Have the boat fueled and ready for a sea trial on a short notice. Fill the water tank and check for leaks. Make sure the hot water heater works. If you have raw water wash down and or a bait tank, make sure all these systems are working and not leaking. Make sure all the engine gauges and tank level meters work. If you run out of fuel on a sea trial because the gauge was not working you could loose the sale. Clean out sea strainers, and air filters. Change oil and fuel filters. Check the wipers. Make sure all the doors and drawers operate freely. Replace old hoses and hose clamps.. If you are selling your boat with a trailer make sure it is in good operating condition and that all the lights work.

Many buyers these days locate boats on the internet and want to take them home with them after looking at the boat. If you have a road worthy trailer you can expand the area for potential buyers by hundreds of miles. If your boat is a sailboat make sure all the rigging and hardware operates moothly, a little Silicone sprayed in the tracks and blocks can make a world of difference in how this equipment operates. You get the idea, the more stuff you have working well the better your odds are that you will make the sale.

5. Bottoms up.
If your boat lives in the water make sure she has been hauled for a basic bottom job. Clean and paint, new zincs, check the running gear make sure the props are in good condition and check the bearings. A boat with a clean freshly painted bottom will perform better giving better speeds and performance on a sea trial this especially true for sail boats and high performance power boats. Many buyers have a set minimum speed requirement and 1 or 2 knots on the top end can make or break a sale.

6. Presale survey.
What! Is not the buyer supposed to pay for a survey? Why should I have to pay for that? I have seen many deals go bad because of a bad survey report. There is nothing worse than having a buyer with check in hand walk away still holding that check because of a bad survey. Or maybe the report comes back but now the buyer wants to “adjust” the price. Having a survey done before you sell the boat will give you an edge. You will have a chance to fix problems before the buyer ever knows they were there. Fixing it yourself can save money. Also if you know what is wrong you can get estimates for repairs and know in advance what it will cost. If on the other hand the buyer gets the estimates he is going to use the highest one to re-negotiate the price. A good surveyor can also give you suggestions for improving the appearance of the boat and you can show you already corrected any deficiencies. If there are any hidden defects that could turn out to be deal killers at least you will be aware of them in advance.

A buyer who knows you have a recent survey will feel more comfortable about the boat and may not even have the boat surveyed prior to purchasing.

I know the list above is a lot to accomplish. The idea is to get you thinking about the things that will help you with the sale. Start with the small items that fit your boat and are easy to do. Work on the things that will make the boat look good. It costs little to clean up and remove excess equipment.

Keep working to improve the salability of your even after you have listed her or placed your ads. I have seen many sellers put the boat up for sale then walk away thinking they are done. This is not the case, a boat does not do well just sitting unused. Go down and start the engines every week or so, run pumps and wash the deck. While your doing that take some more junk off the boat air her out, scrub the decks. If you have listed with a broker do not count on them to do these things, their job is to sell boats not maintain them. If you cannot attend to your boat because you are out of the area hire someone to do it for you. This way you boat will always look good for a prospective buyer who is just walking down the dock. Remember love at first sight can often sell a boat. Remember a little time and money spent before the sale will mean more money in your pocket after the sale.

cag ah.

A childhood episode haunts my dreams

2008-11-21T17:25:00.001+07:00

I have a dream – and I don’t like it.

Let’s turn back the clock. When I was a laaitie at primary school I was my school’s equivalent of a celeb, thanks to one Afrikaans poem titled Muskietejag.

My schoolteacher mother had drilled me thoroughly on how to present it. The climax was a one-liner that went “Pardoef!”

When I recited the line I slammed the wall pretty hard with the palm of my hand as if I were killing the mosquito (muskiet).

My recital got my teacher going, and soon I was reciting Muskietejag at assembly at every excuse the teachers could come up with. The assembly would roar with delight at that moment – something akin to an Obama rally, only on a miniscule scale.

That got me recognition, especially among the girls – one of whom eventually became my wife. The flipside, though, is that jealous boys began to call me Pardoef – and that hurt me badly.

They were much bigger boys and the only way to fend any one of them off , I thought, was to tell him Pardoef was his mother.

When you say that – “it’s your mother” – in an African language, it is an extremely sore insult. But it is also effective.

Once or twice I got breathtakingly close to being detoothed for hurling the insult.

I got the fright of my life when one of the school bullies stabbed someone to death outside the school. Not long before then, I had told the killer that “Pardoef is your mother”, and he had threatened to “get” me.

Lately, with the wisdom of age, I have come to accept fun being made of me. In fact (my mother’s lesson), to neutralise nasty jokes made at your expense, the best route is to make those jokes about yourself.

But lately I dream of the schoolyard killer bully “getting” me, and catching me defenceless.

The nightmare competes for my nights only with one of another well-known bank robber who came to my neighbourhood in Evaton driving a swanky Volvo. Looking back, I think he had come to lie low to escape arrest.

His car was the talk of the area and I decided I wanted to be like him one day, not knowing he was a bank robber.

My friend Rooi told me the man “works with banks”. I thought he was a chartered accountant or something, and innocently approached him one day for a chat: “I hear you work with banks. What subject should I take up because I also want ...”

He did not wait for me to finish. He sneered at me, said Nx, and walked away quietly.

He told Rooi he did not want to see me again.

“That boy speeds. He flies,” he told Rooi. I just laughed it off.

It was only when the man was caught and sentenced to death a few years later that I realised my faux pas ... I dream of him too now, and I don’t like it.

cag ah

Los Angeles is Burning

2008-11-18T12:55:00.000+07:00

No, seriously. You can't step outside without smelling the fire and seeing the ash floating everywhere. My family had to evacuate early yesterday morning, but since they're jerks, they left the cat behind, so I drove home to get her. The main streets were all closed, but I sneaked in through the side streets. She has never left the house in her eight years, so she was pretty upset when I kidnapped her.

Despite having a very angry cat locked in my bedroom, I still managed to have a ton of fun at the Hanson concert last night - barring the stupid drunk blonde bimbo in front of me who kept having her boyfriend pick her up every two minutes. And Tay is still very hot, despite some weird growth on his face.

I had a terrifically epic dream last night. I dreamt that I was part of some Torchwood-like organization that was led by none other than the dashing Captain Jack Harkness. The first part of my dream consisted of some dramatic backstory for me. My great-uncle Bill Nighy (wat lol) was trying to kill me to prevent me from inheriting the family power or something lame like that, so I escaped and joined the Torchwood-like organization under an alias.

We went on a bunch of exciting missions that I can't remember and then decided to take the day off by having a picnic at the local community center. There, we ran across a crazy volleyball coach (he was crazy because his team never won), who turned out to be an alien. He got into a fight with the old couple who ran the community center, so I went in to break up the fight, only to discover that the old man and woman were also aliens! Tadum! Some team member named Mia took the dinosaur eggs the old couple was hiding (I have no idea), and I held them back while Mia escaped to safety. The old lady had super alien strength and kept trying to stab me with a pocketknife. Eventually, Jack came to my rescue, and joked that the old lady only had a pocketknife anyway. I replied that a pocketknife would be a slower, more torturous death.

Somehow, in my dream, this constituted flirting.

Then we were on a new mission, traveling through the desert, until we came upon the lair of a sleeping giant alien spider (this may or may not have to do with the spider that fell on my lap last night and scared the crap out of me). Jack told us to back up slowly so as not to wake her, but of course she woke up anyway. We had to run back through the desert, but there were all these quicksand pits, and people kept falling into them. Most of my teammates and I finally made it to the end of the desert (which was just a door...?), but one girl driving a jeep kept getting cut off by the spider. I remember thinking scornfully that she was the only with a jeep, yet she couldn't out-drive a spider.

So anyway, brave Jack went running back in to distract the spider so the girl could escape, but he ended up falling into one of the quicksand pits. I decided at this point that I was madly in love with Jack and dashed back to rescue him, but the spider jumped on him first, and they both disappeared under the sand. A few seconds later, his hand popped out (in time with dramatic movie soundtrack music), and I grabbed it and helped him out. I asked him how he had ever managed to wrestle a giant spider in a quicksand pit, and he replied that he had gotten some help. At this point, the black villain guy from Serenity showed up and was like, "Hi, I want to join your organization!" I knew he was a villain because I recognized him from the Serenity movie (lol), but he was like, "This is true; I have been spent to spy on you. But you're going to let me join anyway because I have not yet done anything wrong, and I saved Jack's life." WTF I don't know.

Then Jack and I made out!

Woohoo!

But, alas, it was not to be my Mary-Sue moment, because I realized he wasn't very into it. My mind reasoned, "Oh, it must be because John Barrowman is gay," and I was really disappointed.

THE END.

cag ah

What does my dream mean?

2008-11-16T10:35:00.000+07:00

i've been Having Dreams Every night Since last year . I have no idea why. But last night i had these two dreams That had me wonder why.

the First one was in this tim Horton and i was with my boyfriend , he had this angry look on his face wile looking at the cash register like if he was tryng to learn how to work there, next thing i no this guy pops out of nowere with a gun and sayd that he was out to get him.

One second later he was gone. After that i look back to see my boyfriend ( still looking angry) taking a fork and stabing in into some guy's neck. It was very grafic and woke me up instantly.

Not very long after I find myself faling back asleep just to have this other dream about 2 creatures walking around in this underground maze like coridors that never ended.

Weird enough i was in one of these caractors and couldnt find myself to leave this mysterious tight space. It was a very bizard place, a square coridor, all made of bricks. Not long after i started to go faster like i was in a slide. and then it was over. Finally !

Every night i dream about things like these, can some one pleaze help me understand what these dreams mean ? And why i keep having diferent ones that get freaky-er and weird-er!

cag ah

How do you choose your dream club?

2008-11-14T19:04:00.001+07:00

Golf is great. A profession for some, a hobby for many but passionately enjoyed by most. But feelings aside, how well do you know the rules of golf? To a beginner, understanding all the rules of the game is difficult.

Let’s take an example: the clubs. There are general regulations for the design of clubs. Where a club, or part of a club, is required to have some specific property, this means that it must be designed and manufactured with the intention of having that property. The finished club or part must have that property within manufacturing tolerances appropriate to the material used.

If a manufacturer fails to submit a sample or to await a ruling before manufacturing and/or marketing the club, the manufacturer assumes the risk of a ruling that the club does not conform with the rules.

A club is an implement designed to be used for striking the ball and generally comes in three forms: woods, irons and putters distinguished by shape and intended use. The club must not be substantially different from the traditional and customary form and make. The club must be composed of a shaft and a head. All parts of the club must be fixed so that the club is one unit, and it must have no external attachments except as otherwise permitted by the rules.

Woods and irons must not be designed to be adjustable except for weight. Putters may be designed to be adjustable for weight and some other forms of adjustability are also permitted. All methods of adjustment permitted by the rules require that:

(i) the adjustment cannot be readily made;

(ii) all adjustable parts are firmly fixed and there is no reasonable likelihood of them working loose during a round; and

(iii) all configurations of adjustment conform with the rules.

For those matter above, a germany golf portal recommend Ping as one of your dream club.

cag ah

The Sea Shepperds Rock

2008-11-13T13:33:00.000+07:00

Strangely enough, I've had dreams for the past three nights that I enjoy so much I hate to wake up.

In my dreams, I was back on La Jolla beach, where my heart lives. It looked nothing like the real beach, but it was full of seals and other sea life, like the real beach.

In my dream, I was living there and as happy as I always am in the San Diego area. I was swimming among the seals and whales were coming in the area as well (yeah, 'cuz they always swim that close to the beach).

So all's fair in dreams and they cost nothing, so I'm thinking if I could just dream myself to San Diego/La Jolla and get a little ocean time every night, I would be a really happy person. The dreams are very vivid, and I remember most of them, so it's the next best thing to being there. It sure feels real at the time!

cag ah

My Life In A Column: 'I know there's another world out there. I can't prove it. But I know it'

2008-11-11T09:22:00.000+07:00

I am lying in bed, my eyes are just peeping over the covers. I'm staring at the grey of Docket's fur against the grey of my fake fur blanket, against the grey of the sky that's coming through the window. The air looks heavy and saturated and the grey looks like a colour that's been mixed. Half a tube of zinc white with the tiniest drop of Payne's grey, a couple of splashes of water and that's the colour of my sky.

It seems like I've spent weeks in bed, but that's the problem with being unwell, days and nights just seem to fade into one another and early morning really is early morning. I wake at 5am wanting to be filled with zest and energy, but instead I just lie on my back, my neck propped up with a pillow, listening to Radio 3. It has only recently dawned on me how much I really love classical music, music I know absolutely nothing about. I find myself happily absorbed for hours in the dream-like tranquillity of its sound. It feels real and uncontaminated, two adjectives that I find almost impossible to apply to anything these days.

I started being unwell about two weeks ago. I found myself lying in bed, hot and cold and shivery, the nape of my neck saturated in sweat. I said to my boyfriend on a Sunday afternoon: "I think this is what it feels like when you're going to die." And in my shivering state I went into a kind of delirium. I dreamt that I had closed the door behind me, the door of the house that I had lived in when I was a child. But now I was a super-fit adult wearing a black baseball cap and running gear. My body was muscley and well formed. There was zero fat.

I jogged down the alleyway towards the Britannia pub, eventually arriving at Fort Hill. But everything was different, the road had gone and the car park had tumbled into the sea. Broken bits of asphalt with tufts of grass moved and rocked slightly beneath my feet. I clambered down towards the beach, climbing in between the jagged rocks and asphalt.

The beach was beautiful: golden sands soft under my feet but just the right consistency to run on, the colour of the sea an amazing aquamarine, and as I squinted towards the sun, I could see silhouettes of figures flying the most beautiful kites. As I ran, my eyes remained focused on the movements of the sails of the kites as they danced around in the wind. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of happiness and freedom, but as my eyes followed the darting shapes, I realised my trainers were getting wet. The tide had come in and I was blocked off in a bay. I couldn't go forward, I could only go back, back the way I had come. I looked at the kite-flying figures to realise that they weren't real, they were just shadows on the sands.

I ran back toward the crumbling asphalt. The sea was becoming ferocious, spitting and licking at my thighs. Giant waves began to appear that at any second could just sweep me away. I clambered up on to the broken bits of tarmac, my hands grappling to hold on to whatever I could. I could feel my back getting wet and the sea spray covering my neck. I began to panic and cry as my nails were filled with the soft black tar, and my elevation seemed almost impossible. I panicked and looked for a stronger foothold. And then up above me, I saw my Nan. She said: "This way, come this way." She held out her hand and pulled me to the top, and just as I reached my destination of safety, she let go my hand and said: "I have to go now."

A few days later, I was in hospital with a temperature of 110. As I lay there, attached to my drip, I thought about my dream and I wondered whether it was a dream, or whether it was one of those near-death experiences. I wondered whether my Nan was saving my life, or whether she would have been leading me to another world.

It's so long since I have dreamt of her and to be honest, I don't think of her enough. I realise I should put time aside to think about the people who are dead that I love. To conjure their voice, their smell, the touch of their hair and their skin. To try and remember how someone truly was. I know there's another world out there. I can't prove it, but I know it. Since I was a child I have always known it.

This last couple of weeks I have been in and out of sleep, the twilight hours lasting longer than ever and the sleep patterns deeper than they have ever been before. It really feels like I have slipped into another world. Somewhere beautiful and peaceful, somewhere I can rest and sleep.

cag ah

Creeping in my dreams

2008-11-08T20:05:00.000+07:00

Lately, I have been having some extremely vivid dreams about different things I believe relate to spirituality.

First, I have dreamed about a lakefront/riverfront twice like back to back lately. In one of the dreams, I dreamed that my father passed; and I had to swim across this gentle, beautiful lake with healthy green algae on top of it. I was dressed in white with a skirt that rose to the top of the lake when I tried to swim. As I tried to cross, I expected to walk across but I lost my footing. I started swimming and woke up in tears.

Then, I dreamed about the number "4412". I turned on the TV and the reporter reported the news saying only "4412". I answered the phone and the person on the other line said only "4412". I turned the channel and the used car salesman on the commercial screamed "4412".

I dreamed of a multi-colored snake. It was like watercolors. It said something I can not remember but emphasized saying my name "SSSSSSSSSophia".

Who else dreams like this? Do any of you dream in detail?

My dream interpretation research said that the numbers, the lakes, the death, and the snake all have spiritual implications...hmm.

cag ah

Payingpost are Looking for Quality Writers to Join Their Network

2008-11-06T12:32:00.000+07:00

Are you are always looking for new ideas and things to write about? Joining the payingpost network provides you with an opportunity to connect with advertisers that are seeking influencers such as yourself to help create a buzz through sponsored review.

If your blog and interests are aligned with an advertiser’s campaign then you can do your own research and write about them in exchange for pay—not in exchange for a pre-determined outcome but for a fair assessment. And their cost structure allows them to share more with you.

Payingpost comprehensive solution for generating buzz for businesses both on and offline takes into account the latest trends on the web including a deep understanding of the social networking sites that can influence many of today’s connected consumers. Their network of “influencers” includes bloggers, online publishers, off-line product placement specialists, and more.

You have worked hard to create your blog and audience. You have earned the respect of your readers. You have also earned the right to be paid. Network effects will work very well here. The more participating blogs, the easier it is for advertisers to make a useful, targeted group buy and therefore pay you more money!.

So, get ready to start earning from paid posting. Apply for paying post account. It is fast, free and easy.

cag ah

Obama the Messiah and My Dream that McCain Won the Election

2008-11-04T14:34:00.000+07:00

The Scriptures tell us that in the last days that many false Messiah’s would rise up and deceive many. Well we have seen this phenomenon on several fronts already, however now it can be seen on the political front. Not just any political front but it is in the race for the highest elected office in the world, the president of the United States of America. There are millions of people who are actually looking at Barack Obama as a Messiah type figure who will deliver them from both external and internal problems and conflicts in their life. Film director Spike Lee was actually quoted saying:

“When that happens, it will change everything. … You’ll have to measure time by `Before Obama’ and `After Obama,’” Lee said during the panel. “It’s an exciting time to be alive now.” … - Spike Lee

Can we fathom how blasphemous of a statement this actually is. Currently it is the incarnation and death of Jesus on the cross that measures time from B.C. to A.D.

Is Spike really implying that he wants to replace Jesus Christ with Barack Obama. Probably 40 or 50 years ago no one in American would have believed that a multitude of American people would ever worship any earthly man as a god. However in the 1960’s & 70’s Hindu gurus from India began invading and setting up shop here in America. Multitudes dogmatically followed and devoted their entire lives to these so called “godmen”.

Even mainstream icons such as the Beatles began to follow and promote one such leader, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. You must understand that a large segment of that culture in the late 1960’s looked at men like Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, not just as a great teacher or philosopher, but as a bona fide god in the flesh. In India they follow these men around and worship the ground that they walk on, literally by kissing the ground and rubbing themselves with the dirt that just touched these men’s feet.

To be honest I do not think that a majority of Obama’s supporters look at him as a savior, however the fact that there is a counterculture that is ready to embrace him as such is shocking and even frightening. On the website ObamaMessiah.blogspot.com, 100’s of pages of comments have been left, some referring to supporters of Obama as believers and his non supporters as unbelievers.

Louis Farrakhan, before a very numerous congregation claimed that the youth are now hearing the voice of their Messiah(video below). Furthermore he called Obama “the Hope of the entire world”. Yes, the days spoken of by Jesus in Matthew 24 are no longer just on the horizon they are here! Am I trying to say in this article that Obama is the Antichrist? ….Absolutely not!!! However what I am saying is that the people of America are ready to embrace a man or even a political leader as being a Messiah.

On another note, I had a dream about a week ago that John McCain won the election. In the dream after he won, I saw Obama and let’s just say that he was not too happy with the results. In the dream he was fuming with anger. I do not necessarily think that this was a prophetic dream, however it will be interesting if this is the scenario that plays out.

cag ah

Let's Hunk the Friday

2008-10-31T20:40:00.000+07:00

Do you want pokes fun at anything? Well, let me tell you the right place to visit. This is a place where we share our thoughts about some of the crazy products out there.

Who knew someone would make a popcorn maker in the shape of a duck so that it looks like it's vomiting the popcorn!

Every week we find a few more crazy things like that to examine.

And if you haven't checked out Hunk Friday - you'll have a lot of catching up to do. Friday's are dedicated to the wanna be hunk and you can celebrate that "Hunk" with all sorts of things for sale on the web.

I promise that you'll find the craziest thing that you never found even in your dream.

Mengenangnya Kembali

2008-10-27T00:22:00.000+07:00

Dia masih di sana
Sekali lagi.
Aku tak begitu paham bagaimana ia bisa ada di situ.
Malam yang beku itu, hingga aku tidur dibalut sehelai selimut tebal dan selembar bed cover, ia hadir lagi.
Hingga dalam tidurku aku menangis tanpa sebab.
Aku hanya menatapnya sambil menitikkan air mata, tidak melakukan apa-apa.
Entah apa yang membuatku menjadi sentimentil seperti ini.
Bahwa aku tahu akhir minggu ini adalah waktu terakhirnya sebelum ia melanjutkan langkahnya menuju perwujudan harapan dan citanya.
Akankah aku bertemu lagi dengannya dalam keadaan kami yang lebih baik?
Mungkinkah saat itu datang dan ia tak lagi memandangku sebelah mata?
Aku mencoba menggapainya, tapi tak sampai tangan ini meraihnya, tak sanggup kaki ini melangkah ke arahnya.
Namun tak sanggup hati mendusta.

Bangku panjang itu hanya milik kami.
Ketika ia merebahkan tubuhnya di sampingku, dan berbaring di atas pangkuanku.
Kedua tanganku kelu, tak sanggup membelainya, bahkan menyentuhnya.
Tidak sama sekali.
Tuhan tak mengizinkan sentuhan yang mengalirkan nafsu.
Dan saat itu aku tunduk pada larangan-Nya.
Hingga ia mengadu, “Ta, badan [namanya] panas ga?”
Terpaksa kulayangkan telapak tanganku di keningnya.
Kemudian punggung tanganku, untuk memastikan.
Tidak panas, sedikit hangat.
“Ga ah. Perasaan [namanya] aja kok.”

Kenangan itu tak tergantikan.
Aku rela tidak datang pada hari wisudaku untuk mengulang kenangan itu kembali.
Tapi tak mungkin.
Ia yang menjadi sumber inspirasiku.
Kembali, kututup kembali harapan ini, untuk kembali diisi oleh orang lain.

Mimpiku semalam sangat jelas menampilkan dirinya.
Aku pun menangis di dalam mimpiku sendiri.
Hatiku pedih.
Ketika terbangun, aku merenungkan apa yang mungkin sedang menimpanya?
Apakah ia terluka?
Apakah ia tersandung?
Bahagiakah ia?
Seharusnya, karena masa depannya telah di depan matanya terbentang panjang dan berbunga.
Renunganku menatap cermin.
Kenapa aku memimpikannya?
Apakah aku terluka?
Tidak.
Apakah aku tersandung?
Tidak.
Bahagiakah aku?
Seharusnya, karena melihatnya sedang mewujudkan cita-citanya yang berbunga.
Satu yang pasti, bahwa aku akan merindukannya.

I’m gonna miss you,

cag ah

Mimpi Semalam

2008-10-25T00:17:00.000+07:00

Tadi malam entah karena apa saya bermimpi aneh, mimpi bertemu dengan orang yang dalam dunia nyata saya sendiri belum pernah mengenal wajahnya apalagi bertemu dengannya.

Orang yang saya temui dalam mimpiku tersebut adalah sosok maseko pemilik blog www.maseko.com, agak aneh memang tapi begitulah kejadian semalam. Dalam mimpiku itu saya bener-bener bertatap muka dengan maseko sambil kita ngobrol seperti orang yang sudah kenal lama.

Saya tidak tahu kenapa bisa bermimpi dengan maseko yang notabene dia adalah idola dan inspirasi saya dalam membuat blog ini. Apa karena saya terlalu memikirkan blog ini, atau karena kemarin saya baru saja chatting dengan maseko? entahlah. Padahal tadi malam saya lagi banyak pikiran, banyak masalah dengan keluarga sehingga saya tadi malam memutuskan untuk ngeblog, syukur-syukur bisa melupakan sejenak masalah yang ada.

saya ngeblog sampai jam dua belas malam setelah itu pulang dan langsung tidur, nah dalam tidurku yang tidak nyenyak itulah saya bermimpi bertemu dengan maseko. setelah kejadian semalam tadi pagi maseko memberi komentar di blog saya, sungguh sebuah kehormatan bagi saya mendapatkan komentar dari seorang senior. Seorang inspirator sekaligus guru dan saudara seperguruan saya, bingungkan.

Terima kasih buat maseko yang bersedia menjadi sahabat saya dan jangan bosen jika nanti saya banyak tanya kepada maseko.

cag ah

mimpi an2

2008-10-21T23:45:00.000+07:00

Ya Allah…..

aQ memimpikannya lagi untuk yang ke 2 kalinya

Serasa seluruh penyesalan dan kesedihan ini menghambur keluar dan tak terkendali

Dan aQ menangis dipagi yang masih sunyi

Dengan getar hebat yang kurasakan

Betapa aQ terpukul dan terpuruk dalam dosaku yang tak terampuni

Apakah Allah sedang menghukumku atas semua dosa yang kulakukan ataukah Dia sangat menyayangiku hingga memberikan sedikit kenikmatan yang menyesakkan dadaku.

Dari sorot matanya dia seakan berkata “ aQ Rihan ibu, aQ anak lelakimu”

Oh Tuhan….dia lebih besar dari yang kulihat sebelumnya di mimpiku

9 bulan….yach kini iya mulai belajar berjalan

Wajahnya mirip aQ, dengan alis tebal dan ketawanya yang mengigatkanku pada Bapak biologisnya….

Dia menyongsong ke arahku dengan jalannya yang masih tertatih….

Oh….dia minta aQ gendhong

Berat sekali….

Kulitnya putih bersih, rambut hitam pekat dan bergelombang.

Montok sekali, membuatku tak betah dan terus saja menciuminya...

aQ tersenyum malu... hal itu mengingatkanku pada bapaknya....karena dulu aQ sangat sering menciuminya di pipi hingga dia merasa risih

Ya Allah.....

Dia sangat manja berada di pelukanku....seolah dia tau betapa aQ sangat menyayanginya....dan sebenarnya aQ selalu yakin sipapun itu, keluargaku....keluarganya...nenek...kakeknya pasti akan menyayangi Raihanku....sama sepertiku

Hingga tiba-tiba cahaya menyilaukan itu datang dan segera merengut nya dariku

aQ menangis meraung-raung....memohon ampun kepada yang Maha Atas Segalanya dan berteriak memohon kembalikan anakkoe Raihan...

Tetapi air mata ini tak cukup untuk membuatnya kembali padaku....

aQ telah kehilangannya....kehilangan bintang hidupku....kehilangan separuh dari jiwaku...

Dan cahaya itu semakin redup dan menghilang bersama Raihanku

Raihanku yang dulu tak terpikirkan untuk menjauhkannya dari hidupku

Karena bapak biologisnya selalu berkata “ semua akan kembali baik kembali setelah kau membuangnya”

Dan aQ sungguh terpedaya....penyesalan itu selalu datang terlambat

Sungguh aQ sangat mencintainya.....mencintainya dengan seluruh hidupku...sama ketika aQ mencintai bapak biologisnya

Ya Allah.....

Apa arti dari semua ini....mohon ampunku pada Mu....

Mungkin pelukan yang hangat akan sangat menolongku

Tapi apalah yang bisa kulakukan jika lelaki biiologisku saat iniberada di kota kekasihnya

Memadu cinta dengan perempuan yang dicintai oleh nya dan keluarganya

Rasa kehilangan yang kuderita membuat hidupku jadi sebentuk kepedihan tiada akhir karena kesepian

Yang kutahu....

Waktu tak pernah bisa sungguh-sungguh menyembuhkan luka batin kita, ia hanya bisa melembutkan sakitnya....

untuk Raihannya Riry.....

cag ah

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

2008-09-24T21:11:00.001+07:00

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities

Tentang Bulan

2008-09-24T10:08:00.001+07:00

dulu, org selalu menganggapkan kecantikan itu umpama bulan. punyai kelas tersendiri, tinggi di awanan, berseri2 menyinari gelap malam. setelah ramai yg tahu perihal permukaan bulan yg merekah, kering dan berkawah, malah penuh debu, ramai juga mempersenda perumpamaan bulan sebagai ukuran kejelitaan.

aku tetap melihat bulan sebagai suatu yg amat menawan. malah masih ramai kukira memanifestasikan keindahan itu bagai bulan. kerana itu, Allahyarham Tan Sri P.Ramlee, ada menyanyikan ini "engkau umpama bulan, tinggi di atas kayangan..." dan juga "bulan dan juga angin... engkau jadi saksi...". baru2 ini juga aku melihat di akhbar satu filem kanak2 menggunakan judul "tentang bulan". malah pelakon dan pengacara shazzy falaq juga pernah berlakon dlm sebuah telefilem bertajuk "surat untuk bulan". sementara perumpamaan "seperti bulan jatuh ke riba" tetap diguna pakai hingga saat ini.

ye, aku tetap jua melihat bulan sebagai suatu yg sgt menawan. kerana itu juga aku amat excited (abang sering menegur bila aku menggunakan perkataan 'teruja'... ;)) sewaktu terjaga untuk solat subuh tadi pagi. senyumku tak lekang meski bahuku agak sakit (kerana mengiring sepanjang malam menyusukan ainna). dan tak sabar2 aku memberitahu abang, lewat basahan air sembahyang, "bang, tadi ayang mimpi bulan jatuh!", dgn senyumku yg bukan dibuat2. abang lantas senyum, katanya "nabi pernah mimpi tentang bulan". yekah? nanti aku cuba mencarinya di internet, tentang mimpi nabi, tentang bulan.

dalam mimpiku, aku sedang melihat keindahan bulan, warnanya biru kehijauan seperti warna2 bumi tatkala melihatnya dari angkasa (seperti2 gambar2 planet bumi yg pernah kulihat). bulan itu kian lama kian membesar, dan bila aku lihat ia begitu hampir aku cuba lari kerana takut tertimpa. dan ia jatuh betul2 beberapa inci saja dariku..... tapi nyatanya bukan di atas riba.

terkenang peribahasa bulan seperti yg kutulis tadi, aku tetap excited dgn mimpiku. sungguh aku tentunya tidaklah mengharapkan sebarang tuah bergolek dihadapanku, namun aku tetap suka dan terkenang2 mimpiku malam tadi. aku merasakan merasai mimpi bulan jatuh itu, bagaikan bulan jatuh ke riba... entahlah... ;)

cag ah

Bermula dari mimpi...

2008-09-02T17:08:00.001+07:00

Saya pemimpi. Dalam arti sebenarnya, bunga tidur selalu menghiasi malam lelap saya. Dalam keadaan normal, tidak terlampau capai dan tidak terburu – buru tidur, visualisasi imajinasi berputar layaknya film usang. Tampak, namun tak jelas. Tersamar dan sulit diidentifikasi. Saat bangun saya mampu mengingat kilasan cerita mimpi tadi. Syaratnya satu, biarkan saya terbangun sendirinya. Membangunkan paksa justru membuyarkan gambaran mimpi tersebut.

Saya tidak bisa mengatur mimpi apa saya malam ini. Ini bukanlah layar bioskop dimana kamu bisa memilih film apa yang ingin ditonton. Tapi lebih seperti nonton TV, terima jadi, apa yang ditayangkan, itulah yang dilihat.

Puas mengingat mimpi, saya berniat naik ke level berikutnya. Mengartikan mimpi. Saya kerap bertanya – tanya, adakah pesan khusus yang terkandung di dalamnya? Di alkitab, mimpi firaun yang ditafsirkan Yusuf mampu menyelamatkan bangsa Israel. Jaman undian SDSB dulu, sampai dibuat buku terjemahan mimpi ke dalam angka. Segala macam mimpi, mulai dari naik sepeda, makan bakso sampai tenggelam di sungai, semua ada angkanya. Angka inilah yang kemudian didaftarkan ke panitia “judi legal” jaman Suharto. Jika beruntung, angka anda keluar sebagai pemenang dan mendapatkan uang tunai. Well…Saya tidak berniat jadi Satrio dipinggit untuk Indonesia, juga bermimpi menang undian miliaran rupiah. Saya juga tidak bermaksud mengkomersialkan arti mimpi seperti Mama Lauren. Cukup hal – hal sederhana dan untuk konsumsi pribadi.

Dan permintaan saya dikabulkan. Suatu hari saya bermimpi gigi saya tanggal dan seorang teman memberitahu, mimpi gigi tanggal berarti akan ada kematian. Gigi rahang atas mewakili orang lebih tua, gigi bawah tuk mereka yang lebih muda. Awalnya saya acuh tak acuh, saya memang sensitif dengan gigi. Buat saya, mimpi gigi tanggal merupakan manifestasi ketakutan saya terhadap dokter gigi. Namun setelah beberapa kali kejadian, saya jadi lebih awas.

Kurang dari seminggu, kabar duka mampir ke rumah. Saudara jauh, yang sudah sepuh, kembali ke pangkuan Pencipta. Hmm….kebetulan sematakah? Kali kedua mimpi itu datang, saya jadi menunggu. Dan benar saja, dalam beberapa hari, keluarga saya harus kembali ke rumah duka, melawat yang ditinggalkan. Saya belajar, gigi tanggal berarti kematian. Dan kematian di sini tidak termasuk meninggalnya orang terkenal, artis maupun pejabat.

Dua minggu lalu, saya kena getahnya. Kembali saya mimpi gigi tanggal. Kali ini bukan hanya satu, tapi tiga gigi sekaligus. Saya ngeri, ngeri melihat tampang saya yang ompong sana sini dan ngeri menghadapi tiga kematian sekaligus.

Saya jadi menghitung hari. Setiap deringan telepon menjadi saat yang mencekam. Kabar dukakah? Keluarga dekatkah? Setiap orang tua saya tak ada di rumah, saya jadi berprasangka buruk. Melayat lagikah? Dag – dig – dug, jantung saya terus berdebar. Seperti mengetahui apa yang akan datang tanpa tahu kapan waktunya tiba. Yang ada hanya menunggu. Dan kejadian itu berulang, tiga kematian terjadi di sekeliling saya.

Jadi benarkah mimpi itu firasat atau petanda?

Jujur, saya paling tidak suka kematian. Tak tahu bagaimana menahan tangis dan menghibur orang yang kehilangan. Saya sulit tegar dan masih menggugat kematian. Untuk apa ada kematian, untuk apa ada perpisahan? Satu – satunya jawaban yang bisa saya terima adalah, seseorang harus meninggal guna memberi tempat bagi individu lain. Kematian ada memberi keseimbangan dalam kehidupan. Meski demikian, rasio kematian dan kelahiran tak mungkin berimbang karena manusia lebih mampu menghadapi kelahiran daripada kematian.

Terkadang, saat mimpi itu datang, saya merasa bertanggung jawab. Dengan demikian, saya tahu kematian akan menghantui orang – orang yang saya sayang. Semua tinggal menghitung hari. Saya… tak mau mimpi gigi tanggal lagi.

cag ah

Mimpi Bluehikari

2008-08-27T23:24:00.000+07:00

Aneh sekali. Bermimpi bertemu roh seseorang yang aku tidak kenali menceritakan kematian. Kemudian, berbondong-bondong dengan mereka yang tidak dikenali melihat kain kafan yang terjual. Tetapi aku tidak membelinya. Aku hanya melihat dan kemudian tersedar kaget azan Subuh.

Ia bermain-main di kepala seharian. Dan sekurang-kurangnya inilah sekelumit peringatan Tuhan agaknya, kepada aku sikerdil yang alpa selalu ini.

* Entri ini terbit di Sinar Harian Selangor/WP pada 9 Julai 2008

cag ah

Mimpi Roro

2008-08-26T13:18:00.000+07:00

Kalo lagi hamil mimpi yang aneh2 apalagi syerem2 pasti ngeri ya. Tapi ini sih bukan mimpi aneh loh. Malah bikin ketawa2 pas bangunnya. Gag tau ya.. sebelum tidur baca apa ato nonton apa, kok bisa mimpi kek gini.

Ceritanya, di sebuah acara gala dinner, gag tau juga yang punya acara siapa. Lokasinya sih di sebuah restoran terkenal di us sini. Pesertanya banyak, berbaju mewah dan gaun model di Kapal Titanic. Abis itu, hostess bacain pengumuman penghargaan2. Yeyyy namaku kesebut. Mimpinya lengkap sekali, aku gag pake acara heran atau merasa aneh. Yang ada malah terkejut saking bahagianya, macam dapet piala oscar, hahaha…

Ternyata aku disebut karena kepemilikan Resep Dapur Kami.
Selama tahun 2005, daptar resep itu katanya telah menjadi inspirasi bagi wanita dan pria di seluruh dunia untuk memasak.
Kemudian dilanjutkan muji2, yang mana aku sudah mabuk pujian dan gag denger lagi apa kata2nya. Geliii geliiii….

Hahahah.. atau malah aku sudah terbangun yak, dan mentertawakan diri sendiri.

Tapi aku kok jadi teringat postingan bunda Inong tentang beberapa temannya yang terinspirasi olehnya dan jadi pada rajin ke dapur. Ha.. kalau ini sih sayah gag heran, bukan saja punya segudang ide memasak simple dan lezat, tapi juga sukses dengan kursus dan milistnya. Saya malah salah satu pengunjung setia dapurnya. Kemungkinan besar ingatan itu deh yang kebawa2 mimpi, heuehue..

cag ah

My Real Dream

2008-08-26T09:41:00.002+07:00

The past tenth of March, I went to Denver to take the citizenship test. Before that day I was very nervous, I studied the questions, but when I'm nervous I forget all things.

Days before I dreamed that the test was hard or my arrival was late. All those details of my dream did not come true. I was on time and the test was easy. I passed the test and now I'm waiting to go to Pledge of Allegiance.

This is one of many dreams I had when I came to this Country. My other dream I have is to get my GED Diploma, but it will be when I am sure to speak and read very well English. I hope!

cag ah

Mimpi Koolsonic

2008-07-31T16:22:00.000+07:00

Semalam aku bermimpi, mimpiku itu seram sekali (dan konyol sekali). Aku bermimpi koneksi internet gratisan ku diputus. Diantara semua mimpi burukku, this is the worst and ‘konyol’est. Rasanya mimpi semalam itu benar2 terasa real.

Dalam mimpiku, atasanku yang orang Hong Kong (tapi dah bisa bahasa Endonesa) itu ngedeketin aku dan temenku yang lagi asyik ngeblog dan browsing, terus dia bilang pake logat Hong Kong nya itu (aku bisa tirukan logatnya dia perfectly loo, hihi)

Mr.XXXX: “Hey!! kamu orang main internet terus haa…kalian gak kerja haa..kalo saya mau, kalian sudah saya kasi SP3 haa..tau tidak, ini jam kerja,,kenapa kamu orang pada maen internet haa…” (sumpe! tu mimpi terasa nyata banget, sampe ke logatnya segala,,)

Aku dan temanku: “Blep,,bep bep..blpsjddspp” (gak isa ngomong, asli gugup banget, takut banget, cuz ga biasa2na dia masuk ruangan sini en kalo dia mo dateng biasana kita dah tau dan dah matiin browser duluan)

Mr.XXXX: “Haa..saya mau bilang sama XXXXX (nama staff EDP di pabrik) buat cabut koneksi internet kamu orang haa..biar kamu orang kerja bener haa..saya tidak pecat kamu tapi kamu tidak bisa main internet lagi haa..sekarang matikan internet kamu haa…kerja yang bener haa..

Aku dan temanku: “Blep,,bep bep..blpsjddspp,,i..i..iya mister” (gubrak, biasanya ni orang juga cuman ku panggil Pak, eh di mimpi ini aku panggil dia Mister???)

Sampe disitu, aku terbangun. Keringat turun bercucuran.

Bleeh,,mimpi yang aneh!

cag ah

Mimpi Tsunami04

2008-06-19T19:11:00.000+07:00

First I should say that mentally I have been having a difficult time with thoughts of death, hell, and the afterlife. I saw my therapist just yesterday and he thinks the lack of control I am realizing i have over my existence is very troubling. I am also 2 months pregnant and a lot of these new death feelings started when I became pregnant.

The dream:

I was in a plane that was landing and all of a sudden, it just tipped to the ground and we were going down. I knew I was going to die and it was sort of affirming, because I have had these thoughts of death lately, and have been very worried that the thoughts were a premonition. So in my dream, I was saying to myself, I knew this was going to happen. Then it went dark and I struggled to myself, saying, no this can;t be right. All of a sudden, I woke up and my heart was racing.

When I first woke up, i thought that this was a good dream, because my mind was working through the painful thoughts of dying and in a sense letting them go.

What do you think?

cag ah

Mimpi Pee Kitty

2008-06-18T19:00:00.001+07:00

I had a dream last night that I felt like sharing with all of you. I swear this is an actual dream...it's the one I had just before waking up, actually.

(Note: I leave the quotes off because I wasn't sure if they were talking about a Bob or "Bob" until the very end.)

I was walking around Ybor (the 'cool' city with all the clubs and freaks) and saw two lines: One that was half a block long and led to this woman at a table, and one that was fucking LONG...it wrapped around a full block and back. So I got in the long one, out of curiosity. A minute later, I heard the people in my line, and the people just milling around, talking.

"Bob gives the best blowjobs." "Yeah, I went to that chick, but she wasn't nothing compared to Bob." "No kidding." The line kept moving, and then I rounded one corner and heard a voice: "...my friends, there's a good Bob and a bad Bob...a nice Bob and a mean Bob...and a Bob who's tired of saying 'No'! So come on down, children...come on down..." I moved forward enough in the line that I could see the man who was just talking [no one that I recognized; just a guy from my catalog of dream extras, I guess], and I heard a pleasant, baritone voice, clear as day, reply, "Okay, Mr. Puffy, who's next?" I get to the next curve in the line, and see "Bob" himself finishing up someone.

One of my friends (a Discordian one, actually) steps up, next in line, and whips his out.....and at that point, two guys in gladiator costumes stab him with swords, and a guy dressed like Spartacus starts yelling things from the top of a building. That ended the dream--possibly because it started to get entirely too silly (when my dreams become TOO unbelievable, I usually realize it and wake up, whether I want to or not).

Anyone feel like psychoanalyzing or spiritually interpreting this vision?

--

Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian
Meow!

cag ah

Mimpi Eduardo Aji Pradana

2008-06-12T09:40:00.000+07:00

Gila! tadi malam aku mimpi tentang YUI! gila banget hahhahaha. gini ceritanya, aku ketemu ama YUI yang lagi duduk di depan Ambarukmo Plaza Yogyakarta. OOOow, saat itu masih tidak terlupakan.

Saat itu malam hari di yogyakarta, dan orang-orang yang lewat di situ gak ada yang tau kalau YUI nongol di Yogya! Kudekati YUI lalu YUI bilang “nani?” -”apa?” gitu maksudnya, trus aku karena gak bisa bicara jepang, aku pakai aja bahasa Inggris.

Di mimpi itu tumben bahasa inggrisku lumayan lancar meskipun gak baku, sayangnya aku sudah lupa apa saja perbincangan kami. YUI juga berusaha mengikuti dengan bahasa Inggris dengan suaranya yang khas. Ada satu yang kuingat, hal yang paling aneh dalam mimpi ini. Ada atraksi manuver helikopter perangnya amrik tepat di depan Plaza. Parahnya aku yang duluan panik ketika helikopter itu putar-putar kayak mau jatuh, aku kira beneran kecelakaan! YUI hanya tersenyum melihatku panik. Sial!

YUI tuh kelihatan polos banget, juga sederhana, dia pakai pakaian yang warnanya krem kalo nda salah, pakai rok warna putih. Nah terus akhirnya saat berpisah tiba. Keluargaku udah ngajak pulang, ahhh sial kesannya kayak cd tergores, mimpinya jadi nyendat-nyendat gak tau kenapa. Saat meninggalkan YUI, aku sempat menoleh ke belakang melihat YUI, dan untuk yang kesekian kalinya menoleh, YUI sudah menghilang.

Endingnya kenapa selalu menyedihkan? tapi aku senang juga kok mimpinya gak putus di tengah jalan. Suatu mimpi yang tak terlupakan! aku senang sekali saat aku terbangun pukul 3.10 dini hari ini, langsung kuketik di komputerku agar tak lupa. Kemungkinan karena aku memutar lagu-lagunya YUI sepanjang malam (bahkan saat aku tidur), YUI hadir dalam mimpiku.

Senang, Gila!

cag ah

Mimpi Ira Suwitadisastra

2008-06-12T09:32:00.001+07:00

Ya Allah..Subhanallah..Allahhuakbar..betapa indah mimpiku tadi malam..tadi malam aku bermimpi benar2 seperti kenyataan,aku bermimpi bertemu mamah dan papah,memang aku sudah teramat sering memimpikan ke2 org tua ku tapi entah kenapa rasanya mimpi tadi malam bener2 seperti sungguhan....

aku mimpi terbangun dari tidurku dan yg aku lihat bukan dikamar ini tapi dikamar rumahku yg lama (ditebet) aku berjalan menuju ruang tamu kulihat mamah dan papah sedang duduk seakan2 menanti kedatanganku..aku sungkem ke mamah trs mamah memeluk tubuhku dan berkata "Sing sabar anak kieung,wayahna jauh dari mamah (bhs sunda aku cuma tau artinya krn mamah suka berucap seperti itu tapi aku ga bs artiin dalam bhs indonesia) aku nangis trs aku bilang "maafin Ira yah mah..mamah jawab Iya sayang mamah jg minta maaf,mamah cuma bs berdoa untuk Ira" sambil mengusap punggungku..ya Allah..suara mamah bener2 seperti kenyataan bisikan dari mamah begitu terdengar jelas ditelingaku..Ya Allah..pelukan tubuh mamah bener2 seperti nyata melekat dikulit dan tubuhku,begitu jg pelukan dari papah...

Ya Allah begitu indah mimpiku tadi malam..walau lebaran ini aku tidak dapat memeluk mereka tapi mimpiku tadi malam seperti nyata...Ya Allah aku yakin ini karena doa mamah untuk ku...trimakasih Ya Allah.

3hari lagi lebaran,lebaran pertamaku berada jauh dari mamah,papah dan keluargaku..."mah..pah..Maafin Ira yah..Mohon maaf lahir dan bhatin..juga buat kk2 ku,ponakan2ku,sodara2ku,teman2 dan sahabatku.

"SELAMAT HARI RAYA IDUL FITRI,MOHON MAAF LAHIR DAN BHATIN"

Mimpi Juliamima

2008-06-09T09:15:00.001+07:00

Sesuatu yang belum pernah terbayangkan, sekarang terjadi. Aku kangen rumah! bukan rumah yang aku tempati sekarang atau rumah di pondok mertua indah yang masih kami tempati saat ini, tapi rumah ku di negeri khatulistiwa sana. Jauh sekali sekarang rasanya untuk ke sana. Jaraknya lebih dari 10.000 km, 14 jam perjalanan, melewati samudra dan benua.

Mimpiku semalam membuatku resah saat ku bangun. Aku ada di sana, sedang mem-packing baju-bajuku untuk berangkat lagi ke negeri dingin ini. Nyata sekali! Ada ibu dan ayahku, ada keponakan dan kakak-kakakku. Aku merindu!

Hanya beberapa ratus malam lagi dan aku bisa kembali ke sana.

ya, hanya beberapa ratus malam lagi.

Mimpi virasavira

2008-06-07T22:02:00.000+07:00

sudah satu minggu sejak tubuhku memberontak, lumpuh tiga hari karena bagian-bagiannya yang meradang, memanas dan memproduksi lendir berlebihan. Hingga hari ini tampaknya kesakitan itu belum tuntas. menyut-menyut di kepala tiba-tiba akrab, sementara itu, insomnia yang sudah lama tak mampir kini hadir lagi, belakangan ini aku gelisah.

pernah kau terbangun di tengah malam dengan napas tersengal? seperti adegan film yang kukira terlalu didramatisir. tadi malam aku tidur ayam dengan lampu menyala terang. Mimpi keparat membuatku ketakutan setengah mati. Bukan, bukan ketemu dracula atau melihat pocong berjingkrak-jingkrak di kuburan, aku mimpi terperangkap, terjebak.

Kesulitanku memang adalah jujur. Jujur terhadap tubuh yang seyogyanya masih kurebahkan di atas kasur, jujur kepada segala sesuatunya, jujur kepada manusia-manusia, yang mestinya dapat membebaskan.

ketidakjujuran memang tidak mematikan. Tapi living a lie tampaknya akan membuatku lebih sering terbangun tengah malam. berkeringat dengan napas yang sepotong.

Mimpi Think

2008-06-03T14:47:00.002+07:00

Mimpiku Semalam

salam_dari_djogja

mas Leo,

semalem aku mimpi bareng ama mas leo. ga inget wajahnya or mungkin malah ga keliatan wajahnya. tapi aku ngerasa org itu mas Leo. nah di mimpi itu kita berada di suatu tempat lagi maen bakar-bakaran. seingatku kita membongkar barang-barang punyaku yang lama kesimpen (ada tumpukan kertas2, en barang sehari2) trus membakarnya. aku sempat ada perasaan 'eman-eman' or semacam ga rela untuk membuangnya tapi mas bilang barang2 itu harus dibakar, dimusnahkan.

njuk, semua itu maksude opo mas? apa mungkin itu berhubungan dengan rencana sinkron2an ntar malem?
matur suwun

Dear Niam,

Barang2 yang harus dibakar adalah yang bisa terbakar. Kalau ada yang dikatakan "harus dibakar" dan ternyata tidak bisa terbakar,... so be it. Berarti harus dipakai lebih lama lagi, alias masih RELEVAN untuk masa kini.

Kalau yang sedikit saja tersulut api langsung terbakar, ya biar sajalah. Berarti memang harusnya dibakar. Semacam minyak yang dibakar agar menghasilkan API. Nah, api itu ENERGI, gunanya untuk memanaskan (menjalankan) mesin2.

Materi dan Energi itu sinonim, dua bentuk berbeda dari ESSENSI yang sama. Materi = Energi. Materi akan menjadi Energi ketika ada KECEPATAN CAHAYA.

MEDITASI itu KECEPATAN CAHAYA. Ada yang bergerak,... dan bergeraknya dengan "Kecepatan Cahaya". Nah, Energi untuk melakukan Meditasi itu diperoleh dari MATERI masa lalu. Materi yang kita kumpulkan di tubuh kita sendiri di waktu2 lalu (Kemarin, Minggu lalu, Bulan lalu, Tahun lalu,...). Nah, kalau kita tidak mau "membakar" materi yang telah menjadi bagian dari tubuh kita itu, bagaimana caranya kita memperoleh energi untuk meditasi?

Jadi, yang dibakar itu memang BAGIAN DARI MASA LALU. Semuanya itu proses, berupa CYCLES (SIKLUS). Ada yang masuk, dan ada yang keluar. Yang masuk itu berupa Materi, dan yang keluar itu berupa Energi. Ada Kecepatan (Meditasi) yang dilakukan diantara proses konversi Materi menjadi Energi.

E = M.C2 (Hukum Kekekalan Massa dan Energi)

E = Energi
M = Materi
C = Kecepatan Cahaya

Hmmm hmmm hmmm... menurut aku cuma itu penjelasannya yang, maybe, paling abstrak dan universal. Nah, tentu saja ada yang spesifik individual dan, please, itu ditafsirkan sendiri saja.

Kita "membakar" pengalaman masa lalu untuk memperoleh "energi" agar bisa jalan terus. Kalau yang menumpuk dari masa lalu itu tidak dibakar, darimana "materi" untuk bergerak maju itu didapat? Dan Meditasi (atau Doa) memang KECEPATAN CAHAYA yang dibutuhkan untuk mengkonversi "Materi" (pengalaman masa lalu) itu menjadi "Energi".

Kegunaan energi itu macam2, dan KEHIDUPAN MANUSIA itu tidak lain dan tidak bukan merupakan SISTEM ENERGI. Ada yang dibakar dan dikonversi untuk menjalankan "mesin" berupa tubuh. Mesin juga bisa berupa "the brain". Bisa juga berupa "tubuh etherik" (darimana sistem energi prana berputar).

So, arti dari mimpi itu macam2. Arti umum itu berlaku bagi semua orang. Dan arti khusus akan tergantung pada tiap orang masing2.

Yours,
Leo

Mimpi Adya

2008-05-26T12:04:00.000+07:00

Semalam aku mimpi buruk, sekaligus aneh...

Dalam mimpi itu aku kecelakaan, ditabrak mobil...

Dan kemudian aku seperti melayang-layang, bisa melihat apa yang terjadi pada tubuhku di bawah sana...

Aku melihat si kangmas memeluk tubuhku sambil menangis...

Saat terbangun, aku pun ternyata juga menangis...
Entah apa arti mimpiku itu...
Aku hanya bisa berdoa, semoga tak akan ada hal buruk yang menimpaku, kangmas, dan keluarga kami...

Guys... Adakah di antara kalian yang tau apa arti mimpiku ini?

Apakah mimpi ini hanya bunga tidur, sekaligus akumulasi segala kegelisahan, kekuatiran dan ketakutan yang sedang aku rasakan akir-akir ini?
Ataukah mimpi ini merupakan suatu pertanda?

I dunno... Semoga saja hanya bunga tidur seorang Adya yang sedang gelisah...
----
cag ah

Mimpi Aida Vyasa

2008-05-25T17:40:00.002+07:00

Empat Mimpi at Once

Malam ini, 15 September aku mimpi banyak banget dan terputus-putus.

Pertama,

Ku mimpi pergi ke sebuah cafe yang rada aneh karena punya tiga tempat berbeda. Aku pergi ke sana sama Emi Hazni. Hihi ... dia yang milih makan, milih tempat dan bahkan milih kursi di mana kita akan duduk. Aku agak bingung dengan tempat yang terang, jadi keliatan kurang sigap. Trus kulihat Emi milih tempatnya, enak. Ya udah ku nurut aja. Waktu mau masuk lokasi duduk, ada orang cina dua, pria dan wanita sedang berpelukan.

Di sebelah pasangan itu ada seorang wanita yang duduk diam saja. Trus ku masuk lokasi duduk dan bilang ke Emi, ‘ wah asik tempatnya.’ Trus ku keluar lagi karena ada yang bilang kalau ada tukang ramal di ruang sebelah. Pas keluar, aku lihat pasangan cina pria dan wanita itu sedang nangis tersedu-sedu tapi ngga bersuara. Air matanya ngalir dan sedih banget. Aku ngelihatnya sambil membayangkan, ‘kok kayak aku dan dia ya ... nangis deres ngga ada suara.’ Aku lihat pasangan itu dari deket banget tapi pasangan itu diam aja dan nerusin nangisnya tanpa terusik.

Dan aku terbangun.

Trus ku tidur lagi, dan mimpi lagi.

Kedua,

Ku mimpi nganter adikku ke stasiun kereta api. Sore-sore nganternya tapi deket-deket malem. Jadi pas nyampe stasiun, sudah rada gelep. Aku parkir mobil di tempat yang ngga bisa. Aku sendiri ngga tau di mana itu. Trus aku lihat adikku, langsung menuju ke tempat karcis. Ku lupa kalau ku belum ngunci mobil. Ku balik parkiran sambil lihat jam dinding, jam 6 kurang 2 menit. Adikku belum terlambat amat. Trus ku keluar cari mobilku. Lohhh kok ngga ada.

Aku yakin parkir di situ, tapi engga ada. Ku balik lagi masuk, putar-putar sekitar tempat parkir yang banyak pintunya, dan ngga terlihat mobilku. Aku bingung, trus keluar ampe pintu yang mana ku juga ngga tahu karena semua pintu sama, trus kulihat mobil merah di parkir, tapi bukan seperti gaya parkiranku tadi. Dan lucunya, ni mobil bukannya ku naiki, malah ku buka paksa kayak mobil mainan. Ku pegang dan kubawa ke luar parkiran – dengan ukuran yang kecil, trus sampei di luar parkiran baru jadi gedhe mobilnya.

Trus kubaru ku jalan, kulihat jam dinding, whoaaaa jam 6.30. adikku dah di dalam kereta. Dan pas mau kutelp, aku bingung karena tanganku kotor karena sesuatu yang lengket. Kayak kue mochi gitu bentuknya.

Dan aku terbangun,

Trus ku tidur lagi, dan mimpi lagi.

Ketiga,

Ku ke tawangmangu, dan nginep di titisari dengan ‘u know who’ (Initial V). Pintu kamarnya aneh. Ngga bisa di kunci. Trus ku kedinginan dan kubilang, aku bawa selimut. Trus tukang jaganya bilang kalau di kamar ngga bisa tidur, di dapur saja. Ku ngga nurut. Ku tetap di kamar, dan akhirnya tertidur juga.

Anehnya tuh rumah gelap banget, tapi ruang tamunya terang sampai akhirnya kita seneng karena pintu kamar ngga bisa di tutup dan dapet sinar dari luar. Trus aku inget ama kata-kata Toha, ‘ni rumah impian’ ..... weiiiiiiiiiii apa ini hahahha.

Dan ku terbangung,

Trus mimpi lagi ...

Keempat,

Ku mimpi aku di sebuah salon mau rapihin rambut. Trus yang potong rambut itu temen sendiri – Ervin. Aneh deh. Di situ ketemu Boel juga dan di agak gemukan sedikit. Kutanya, ‘kapan restonya buka?’ dia Cuma senyum-senyum aja. Trus ku dipersilakan ma Ervin untuk masuk ruangan dan siap potong rambut. Tempatnya rame banget.

Aku sibuk milih model yang mana. Dan tiba-tiba ada orang dateng nawaring daging ayam panggang. Kubilang, ‘ku ngga bisa makan itu.’ Trus orang itu maksa, ‘coba lihat aja dulu, nanti lama-lama jadi ikan kok.’ Ehh bener tuh daging ayam jadi ikan beneran dan warnanya biru. Aku tetap ngga suka dan ku taruh di meja. Trus ikannya jatuh dan bunyinya, ‘Traaaak.’ Kagetnya aku, bukan main. Kulihat ikannya ngga morat-marit dan masih utuh. Karena ku jijik, jadi engga ku angkat dan ku hampir pindah tempat.

Trus ku lihat ‘u know who’ masih duduk ama si Boel dan mau ku ajak pulang karena aku ngga mau potong di situ. Terlalu rame. Aku risih banget banyak orang. Pas ku mau bangun dan jalan ke arah Initial V dan Boel, adegan mimpi pindah ke Ervin yang berada di loteng rumahku. Aku ngga tau dia ngapain tapi ... trus mimpiku mandeg.

Hehe ... banyak yah mimpinya. Enjoy!

Kutinggal mau cari-cari text na dulu ... see you! Have a nice weekend everyone!

my dream last night was sooo, indescibably and confusing will SOMEONE please help me to unscramble it?

2008-05-24T20:30:00.002+07:00

okay well some of my friends were in it, a wholeee lot of random people from school, and the guy i like :). me, two of my friends, and the guy i like were walking around some town and it was kindof dirty and messy and stuff. we rounded a corner and saw a house and i asked him if he lived there and he said “no, this is my friends house.” and then i told him that something was wrong, and i looked in a window to the inside and saw smoke and flames and told them all “the house is on fire!!!”.

so it was really hot near the fire and we were trying to save his (guy i like) friend who was in the house, and we did and it was kind of fun lol we were all working together and it was intense haha…. then im not exactly sure what happened - i probably skipped some scenes or w.e - .. so new place!: and the guy i like came running up the hill with one of my best friends (we are now on my street, near my house, though she lives like a mile away) because she had to get her backpack (wtf lol). andd idk what really happened there

then we popped back to the old town and were on a wooden deck with a LOT of people from my school because it was his birthday (the guy i like, though his bday was a few months ago)! and it was crazy and stuff haha, WOO! party! yeah.

well anyways, him and i got really close and talked a lot (this is all in my dream last night though) throughout his bday party, and it seemed like i was just about the only person he talked to which was pretty cool. . and he smiled a lot that night during the dream-party, but it was a different smile than what i usually see in school. idk, it was a really warm and natural smile i guess is the best way to describe it. it was really nice. and i can even remember what he was wearing which was kinda weird hahha. i remembered sooo many things from that dream it was weird.

Mimpi Kay79

2008-05-24T10:45:00.002+07:00

Sampai sekarang aku dihantui oleh mimpi semalam. buat aku takut pula. dalam mimpi tersebut aku didatangi oleh 2 ekor ular tetapi aku tidak dipatuk oleh ular tersebut.

Ular tersebut berlegar-legar dengan aku, yang seekor berwarna hitam dan seekor lagi berwarna putih. Ular yang berwarna hitam lebih aktif, yang berwarna putih pula diam-diam saja..

apa kah makna mimpiku itu?

Mimpi mama Rafi

2008-05-23T09:56:00.001+07:00

Saya termasuk orang yg jarang bgt mimpi eh.. sekali dapet mimpi langsung dua kali dalam semalam dan mimpinya serem semua lg:(. Jadi ceritanya gini, kemaren malem aku tiduran aja di kamar sambil nonton TV, kebetulan Rafi bobonya cpt jd ga ada lg yg godain mamanya seperti biasa. Mungkin karena kecapekan akhirnya aku ketiduran ...

Mimpi pertama: aku sedang jalan ama 2 orang temenku yg ga jelas siapa, tiba2 di belakang kita dah ada anjing hitam yg langsung lari deketin spontan semuanya pada kabur, aku hampir kejatuh dan saat itulah si dogy gigit tepat dibawah sorry pantat-ku. Kaget aku kebangun dan langsung liat jam tepat 12 tengah malam. Kulihat Rafi msh bobo nyenyak di sebelahku. Karena msh ngantuk ga berapa lama aku dah pules lg..

Mimpi kedua: sekarang aku berada di rumah Palembang, keluarga Palembang lg pd kumpul asik nonton TV, aku ke belakang pipis di WC yg dulu (lantainya agak turun kira2 setengah meter) jd kalo duduk yg keliatan cm kepala, dan ga tau knp pintu dapur yg arahnya tepat lurus ke WC terbuka, saat itu ada salesman lewat nawarin barang tapi kutolak sambil tetep nongkrong di WC, pertamanya si sales nurut aja ga jd mampir tp kemudian dia langsung nyelonong masuk dan aku langsung jerit minta tolong, tp suaraku kayak ilang gt tercekat di tenggorokan, aku trus berusaha teriak2 sampe akhirnya bik nur datang goyang2in badanku sambil manggil2.. aku kebangun tp kali ini msh setengah sadar dan badan agak lemes:( saat itu dah jam setengah 2 lebih. Pingin sholat mlm tp lg dapet akhirnya cm bs istiqfar sambil pejamin mata, aku ga inget lg jam berapa akhirnya aku bs kembali tidur.

Mimpi.. katanya sih cuma bunga tidur, yg namanya bunga mestinya kan indah tapi kok mengerikan:( mimpi adalah pengalaman yang melibatkan penglihatan, pendengaran, dan indra-indra lain dalam tidur. Kejadian dalam mimpi biasanya mustahil terjadi dalam dunia nyata, dan di luar kuasa pemimpi. Kalo mimpi digigit anjing mustahil ga kejadian? Hii..amit2.. Aku termasuk orang yg ga gt percaya mimpi tp entah kenapa esoknya hati jd gelisah ga tenang sepertinya bakalan terjadi sesuatu entah apa:( Pemimpi juga dapat merasakan emosi ketika bermimpi, misalnya emosi takut dalam mimpi buruk. Mungkin aku msh kebawa emosi aja kali ya jadi pas besok paginya msh gelisah gn. Waktu cerita ke temanku mega katanya udahlah Insya Allah ga ada apa2, trus sms papa katanya gpp mdh2an dapet rejeki kan mimpi biasanya kebalikannya, apa iya? Semoga saja.

Dipikir2 daripada mimpi di alam bawah sadar mendingan mimpi di alam nyata kan bebas milih apa aja tinggal di atur :) misalnya mimpi cepet deket ama suami dgn bayanginnya aja dah bs bikin bahagia. Mimpi jadi bos ongkang2 kaki dirumah duit dateng sendiri, mau berlibur kemana aja, beli apa aja ga masalah wuihh enaknya..kpn ya kesampean? Kalo skrg aku msh ogah2an gn di usia 30 mau mencapai kebebasan finansial kayaknya msh jauh, usia 35 ehmm kyknya cukup realistis? kalo usia 40 bukan lagi mimpi kali yee.. Mimpi bagiku bisa jadi motivasi dan ngilangin stress, asal mimpinya ga berlebihan rasanya sah2 aja. Trus kalo mimpi masuk syurga amin.. berlebihan ga ya? mdh2an dikabulkan asal jadi orang baik & rajin beribadah Insya Allah.

Mimpi Azlan: Spiderman

2008-05-22T09:23:00.002+07:00

Semalam lepas sahur aku mimpi pelik..aku mimpi aku jadi spiderman...akubergayut macam Tarzan dari dinding ke dinding dgn mengeluarkan sawang dari tapak tangan aku.

Lokasi mimpi aku adalah di KLIA. Aku bergayut di dalam KLIA. Last last guard guard KLIA (sebenarnya muka mcm Guard MMU) berusaha untuk tangkap aku. Appearence diorang mcm muka penjahat penjahat dalam movie.

Last last aku terkantoi dan ditangkap kat tingkat 5 KLIA. Itu pun sebab MakCik Cleaner (Muka mcm MakCik cleaner MMU) kat KLIA tu yang kantoikan aku..dia pergi inform kat Pak Guard yang aku ni lah Spiderman.

Mcm mana Cleaner tu boleh mengecam muka aku dan membantu Pak guard menangkap aku...hahahaha..ni yg lawaknya...sebenarnya diorang berdendam dgn aku sbb diorang kena bersihkan sawang sawang kat KLIA yang aku sepahkan kat serata ceruk dalam bangunan KLIA tu..kah kah kah...aneh betul mimpi nih... tapi memang real cara aku bergayut dari siling KLIA tu dari satu tempat ke satu tempat. Gayat pun iya jugak..tapi time tu aku terpikir, aku kan Spiderman..apsal nak gayat lak.... :P

------
cag ah

Mimpi Laila Arni

2008-05-21T09:47:00.002+07:00

Aku selalu mimpi pasal gigi. Sejak tahun lepas lagi. Malam tadi aku mimpi yang gigi taring aku longgar dan perlu dicabut. So, aku pun menghadap cermin dan goyang-goyangkan gigi tu. Aku pejam mata dan sentap gigi tu. Bila aku buka mata, di tangan ku ada sederet gigi bawah dan atas kecuali dua batang gigi atas dan bawah bahagian depan.

Refleksi cermin menunjukkan aku dah rongak. Yg tinggal cuma dua batang gigi depan, dan dua batang gigi bawah ajer. Aku pun menjerit. Pastu tiba-tiba ada dentist pulak offer aku untuk cabut gigi yg tinggal tu dan pakai gigi palsu ajer. Setting mimpi tu tiba-tiba berubah macam kat cerita Extreme Makeover.

Ada sekali tu aku mimpi bertinju dalam ring. Tak ingatlah pulak aku masa tu lelaki ke perempuan (kengkadang aku mimpi jadik lelaki – maybe Freud could explain this :p) tapi yang pastinya lawan aku tu a guy. Dia tumbuk aku bertubi-tubi tapi aku tak rasa sakit pun. Aku pun balas balik sampai org tu pengsan (tak tau la kalau mati ke hapa). Bila aku diumumkan pemenang, aku spit out luar ring. Pttuii!! Bersembur keluar SEMUA gigi-gigi aku.

Masa kat USM dulu aku selalu mimpi jadik perompak bank, atau pesalah yg diburu polis. Habis belajar ni pulak selalu mimpi jadik rongak. Ntah apa kena la kepala hotak aku ni.

Bosan tul. Sekali-sekala nak jugak aku mimpi beromen bersembang dengan Enrique Iglesias pulak.

Berikut adalah senarai celebrity yg pernah muncul dalam mimpi aku.

1) Michael Jackson (don’t ask)
2) Roxette

3) Mick Foley a.k.a Mankind of WWF (WWE now – ya’ know rassling guy), and no, it was not a wet dream. You’d understand if you see how ugly Mankind is.

Kan bagus kalau kita boleh control mimpi kita.

Sigmund Freud

2008-05-19T20:31:00.002+07:00

Wheras there was a space of nine years between the first and second editions of this book, the need of a third edition was apparent when little more than a year had elapsed. I ought to be gratified by this change; but if I was unwilling previously to attribute the neglect of my work to its small value, I cannot take the interest which is now making its appearance as proof of its quality.

The advance of scientific knowledge has not left The Interpretation of Dreams untouched. When I wrote this book in 1899 there was as yet no "sexual theory," and the analysis of the more complicated forms of the psychoneuroses was still in its infancy. The interpretation of dreams was intended as an expedient to facilitate the psychological analysis of the neuroses; but since then a profounder understanding of the neuroses has contributed towards the comprehension of the dream. The doctrine of dream-interpretation itself has evolved in a direction which was insufficiently emphasized in the first edition of this book.

From my own experience, and the works of Stekel and other writers, [1] I have since learned to appreciate more accurately the significance of symbolism in dreams (or rather, in unconscious thought). In the course of years, a mass of data has accumulated which demands consideration.

I have endeavored to deal with these innovations by interpolations in the text and footnotes. If these additions do not always quite adjust themselves to the framework of the treatise, or if the earlier text does not everywhere come up to the standard of our present knowledge, I must beg indulgence for this deficiency, since it is only the result and indication of the increasingly rapid advance of our science. I will even venture to predict the directions in which further editions of this book - should there be a demand for them - may diverge from previous editions.

Dream-interpretation must seek a closer union with the rich material of poetry, myth, and popular idiom, and it must deal more faithfully than has hitherto been possible with the relations of dreams to the neuroses and to mental derangement.

Herr Otto Rank has afforded me valuable assistance in the selection of supplementary examples, and has revised the proofs of this edition. I have to thank him and many other colleagues for their contributions and corrections.

Vienna, 1911 -

Mimpi Pei

2008-05-19T18:04:00.009+07:00

Gue pas lagi pulang sekolah, trus awalnya gue ketemu co gue a.k.a. mas Cabi. Dan jelas-jelasnya dia tau ada co laen. Trus dia yang ngomong gini : 'Ya udah kalo kamu emang milih dia, gpp... Terserah mau pilih siapa.' Eh bisa-bisanya gue milih mas Gackt. Trus dia meninggalkan daku, ihiks... sedih banget deh.

Abis itu gue berlari menyongsong mas baruku. Gakuto orangnya lebih care ke gue, tas gue yang dibawain gitu. Pas lagi jalan mo ke mobil, tau-tau ketemu tante-tante teman ibuku, tapi mereka ga liat. Yang liat cuman tante Melanie -ya ampun... Tante Melanie kok muncul lagi di mimpiku ada apa ya? Udah 2 kali nih...- Ya gue si ga perlu memperkenalkan lebih lanjut mereka sudah menduga dan menggosip sendiri hubungan di antara kami berdua, Feli jalan sama co berduaan doang gituh, apa lagi hubungannya... Tapi si eMas yang ga pedulian sama orang laen, ga ramah deh.

Sejak itu gue jadi menduga-duga, apakah pilihan gue uda bener? Trus yang lebih aneh lagi, tau-tau mukanya Gackt berubah jadi muka orang laen, ga tau deh sape. Naek mobil, trus ditanyain mo makan apa, akhirnya diputuskan die yang mo masak. Mampir ke rumahnya, rumahnya aujubile gede banget segede komplek Ligamas. Beeeehhhh... jalan dari tempat parkir ke rumahnya aja ngabisin tenaga.

Tambah aneh lagi, pas lagi jalan dari tempat parkir ke rumahnya, yang muncul adalah Mas Gackt en de genk dengan gaya dandanan Visual Kei paporitnya itu. Gyaaaaaaaaa!!! Gaunnya yang norak jreng kaya di opera, mukanya putiiiihhh banget karna bedak tebel sama pake make-up yang lipstiknya merah darah. Rambutnya yang disasak gede plus ada pringkel-pringkelnya bak lady-lady jaman revolusi Prancis. Omaigutnes yaoloh!!! Gue langsung yakin kalo gue telah salah mengambil keputusan. Abis itu langsung netepin hati buat minta maap alias putus dan kembali pada eMasku yang lama.

Uda sampe di rumahnya, akhirnya die udah ganti baju dan kembali pada style cool-nya di Moon Child. Tapi mau ngomong, segen-segen juga, abis kayanya moodnya lagi ga enak, tampangnya jutek bener! Guenya yang sok-sok liat-liat barang sambil ngumpulin keberanian. Abis itu tau-tau gue terbangun dari mimpi... Yah, ga jelas deh akhirnya gimana. Jadi putus apa engga, dimaapin sama cabi atau enggak Oiya, beruhubung gue insomnia, bangun tiap 3 jam sekali.

Makanya abis itu gue mimpi laen lagi.

Mimpi kali ini adalah masa di mana gue masih SMP. Lagi pelajaran Bu Tanti, tapi anehnya Bu Tanti bukan ngajar ekonomi tapi biologi. Lho??? Jago bener si Ibu. Sayangnya gue telat datengnya, minta surat ke Suster dulu deh baru bisa masuk kelas. Pas besoknya, gue telat lagi coba! Bu Tanti yang BT gitu deh jadinya ke gue.

Tapi ya udah, gue langsung disuruh duduk. Abis itu tiba-tiba ada klub Taiko ngadain pertunjukan kecil-kecilan, tapi salah satu anggotanya ga bisa dateng. Trus gue maen ditarik ajah suru perform. Beeehhh mana gue bisa, pegang alatnya sekali aja ga pernah. Akhirnya pas pertunjukan gue yang bikin kaco deh salah-salah melulu. Pas di tengah-tengah pertunjukan taiko, tau-tau alaram HP gue berbunyi TRUTTTT TRUTTTT... menandakan gue harus bangun dan siap-siap ke gereja.

Mimpi 1

2008-05-19T03:26:00.000+07:00

Ketika asyik berselancar di dunia maya, sore menjelang malam beberapa hari yang lalu, aku dikejutkan oleh pertanyaan anak lelaki keduaku yang sebentar lagi akan lulus sekolah menengah atas. Dia bertanya apakah mimpi itu?.

Sebuah pertanyaan yang bagus. Dia tidak bertanya mengenai tafsir mimpi, tetapi mulai dari kejadian mimpi itu sendiri.

Terus terang aku terkejut juga mendengar pertanyaannya. Bukan apa-apa, karena kebetulan aku sendiri sedang menguji secara diam-diam sebuah teori mengenai mimpi yang kubangun sendiri.

Teori itu masih mentah, belum bisa aku simpulkan. Bagaimana ya menjawabnya?. Akhirnya aku mengemukakan teoriku saja bahwa mimpi itu merupakan gambaran kehidupan ini.

Coba kita amati, bisakah kita merencanakan mimpi? entah orang lain tetapi aku tidak pernah bisa bermimpi sesuai dengan rencana sebelumnya. Mimpi-mimpiku terjadi begitu saja. Kadang suasananya menyenangkan, lain waktu terasa kelam. Persis kehidupan ini bukan?.

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cag ah